Havanese Forum banner

When to let go?

8K views 61 replies 19 participants last post by  Heather's 
#1 ·
This isn't havanese related but you guys have great advice so am hoping for some of that now
My oldest dog is only about 8 yrs old (could be older or younger it is a vets guess she's a rescue) and is a Great Dane mix and has been having some health issues lately I'm not planning on losing her for a few more years (20 would be nice :) ) but how do you know when is the time? Obviously not now she's not too bad yet she's slower now lays around all the time has really bad eyesight which does cause her to freak out a lot especially outside she has a harder time jumping on the bed or into the car
yesterday she didn't want to go on her walk she usually like it a lot (which is what is making me type this) but she's still playful (as long as she doesn't have to get up lol) she likes bitey face while laying and doesn't seem to be in tons of pain although she does bite her leg/hip and growl at it lots (I'm assuming it bothers her)
I worry sometimes that I will hold onto her longer than I should how bad should her quality of life get before it would be better to let her go? Again not looking for now I'm tearing up just writing this but I don't want to selfishly keep her here if she's in too much pain she's still pretty young so I hopefully have a few more yrs before I have to worry about this
I have a vet appointment in a couple weeks to hopefully get her some pain meds
The last week or so she's been laying more and usually she jumps when it's diner time she hasn't been doing that either I think her hips are bothering her more than usual
I can be a big worrier and she's acting different this week which of course has me worried lol
How do you know when it's time?
A pic of my beautiful girl


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
See less See more
1
#2 ·
She's so regal laying there on her bed. It is good you have a vet appointment, you can go over things with him. I do know that Great Danes don't have near as long of life spans as our Havs, and they have their own ring of health problems to watch for.
 
#3 ·
Sheri is right, the big breeds don't have the long life spans of the smaller breeds, but her pain could be simply arthritis or something else treatment could alleviate. I am glad you are taking her to the vet, you can have a good conversation and hopefully the examination can give you clarification. It is too soon to be thinking about letting her go don't let your mind go there until that time comes. You will know in your heart then.
 
#4 ·
You love her and you'll know when her quality of life is diminished too much. When the pain isn't manageable, when she can't get around on her own (and the pain is bad when you help her) or when the bad time/ days outweigh the good.

It's definitely a hard decision. I've seen it when someone waited too long (one of the last big dogs by parents had my Dad was carrying her from her chair outside, holding her up to pee, and carrying her back and she was in pain). I also had to go through the decision a few years ago when my Dalmatian was almost 16. I sometimes wonder if I went too early, but know that if I did it was only possibly by a matter of months. She was deaf from birth, went blind at about 15 and by the time I let her go was incontinent, in pain and was having trouble sometimes getting up or when standing on hardwood floors (but could walk on her own once you helped her up).

It's an incredibly hard decision, but you'll be able to tell when it's getting too hard for her.
 
#5 ·
Thank you everyone I've never been through old age in dogs my only other dog was years ago and she didn't make it to old age so Luna's pain is upsetting the last vet she saw( a year ago in may) thought she was doing good but she is much much worse than last yr now I know I shouldn't have to worry about things like this yet but Because shes been acting different this last week or so it really makes me start to worry
I have a lot to discuss with the new vet (I feel the old vet charged too much so took sprocket to a new one I like them will take Luna there in 2 weeks)
she does drip pee occasionally after she goes and sometimes when she stands from laying not much but it's noticeable
I don't have to lift her at all she's 90lbs so def would be hard to do lol but yesterday she refused her walk again and I tried to get her to fetch she loves playing with a ball she did kinda walk/Trot once to retrieve it but then brung it back and laid down hopefully it's something the vet can help me with
She is reactive to other dogs when on a leash and still reacts to them so I figure she's not in too much pain to do that lol
I'm assuming her hips are bothering her more than usual hopefully pain meds will help her



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
#8 ·
your vet should be your best advice. Hugs
 
  • Like
Reactions: Kirby
#9 ·
Dogs are good at masking pain, but it sounds like your pooch could use medication sooner than two weeks from now. Your schedule may not allow, but if you could I would insist that the vet see her because she is showing signs of great discomfort. If it were me that was in pain, I wouldn't want to wait that long.

I agree that large breeds have a shorter life span than smaller ones.
We had a Havanese before Tux who had lots of health issues. She began to lose control of her legs at 10 years of age. We managed to get 3 more years of "quality" life, (she could walk if we gave her Prednisone), until the medications and all her other health issues came to a point of no return. She was okay until she began to vomit, didn't want to eat, was panting really fast, and was obviously in a lot of pain. I knew then that it would be inhumane and selfish to allow her to suffer since the treatments we were giving her were no longer helping. The vet confirmed by blood tests that organs were failing. We said our goodbyes there at the vet's, and she died in our arms. It was the most heart wrenching moment of my life, but I KNEW it was the right thing to do. The vet agreed.

I don't second guess our decision. You should have your vet explain what to watch for so you can be aware, but hopefully the pain is merely arthritis or something that can work with pain management. Hopefully you can take her soon.
 
#10 ·
Maybe I should try a different vet just to get her in faster? This vet does close somewhat early and I had to take a half day off work to get her in which requires a 2 week notice at work that's y it takes 2weeks to c vet
Maybe I'll see if I can get her to c her original vet one last time they are open till really late just charges twice as much but worth it if you think it sounds like she's in a lot more pain than I thought I definitely don't want her to be hurting :(


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
#13 ·
That's good. At least you and she will have relief and hopefully answers. I always think of the tiny little pin point spot I had on my nose that would bleed, heal over and come back a few weeks later. It was literally the size of a pin point. After a year or so I finally went to the dermatologist. I wound up having Mohs surgery and they cut the size of a one carat diamond (1/4" diameter hole) out of my nostril.(almost my entire nostril). Had I gone in sooner, it would have been a lot less drastic. Now my mantra is "the sooner the better" when it comes to any health issues (and pain).
 
#15 ·
Vet thinks it's probably arthritis wants to do X-rays to confirm also there's a spot on her leg that is swollen he wants to X-ray that to see if it's cause for concern he did blood work today and should have the results tomorrow it was too late to do X-rays so I have an appointment tomorrow for them I got some medicine for her pain so u guys were right I thought it was hip dysplasia just because I know that happens a lot on bigger breeds didn't even think about arthritis


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
#16 ·
Tux was limping and I took a video of it with me to the vet. The vet was very astute and pinpointed his pain in his shoulder. I never would have guessed. After 10 days of anti-inflammatory medication, he is as good as new. We have no idea what happened unless he jumped off of something when we weren't looking. You just can't guess these things. So much better to get to the vet sooner than later. Hope things work out for her. You are on the right track.
 
#19 ·
I have some horrible news I can't stop crying
We did the X-rays and she has bone cancer in her back leg part of me wishes I never went to the vet so I wouldn't know but I know she'd be in too much pain if I didn't find out
She's too young to deal with this and I'm not ready to lose her
I'm a horrible mommy how did I not see she was in that kind of pain?! I feel like I am in my worst nightmare and just want to roll over and cry I don't know if I'm capable of dealing with this can't believe my beautiful girl is going thru this
I'm at a loss of what to do I know it's selfish but I don't want to deal with it
Im sorry for rambling I'm such a mess right now I wasn't expecting something this bad
 
#20 ·
I am so very sorry to hear this awful news. Take heart that you got her to the vet. From the gray on her muzzle I'm guessing she is older. The average life span of a Great Dane is 6 to 8 years. I would weigh her age and what your vet advises in considering your next move. Your thread was titled "When to let go?" so I would guess that you somehow knew deep down that this might be what you might have to face.

It takes great courage to put your dog before your own wants and needs.(like delaying the inevitable because letting go is too painful for you.) There are a lot of sites on the web that deal with this, and they can be a great comfort. 'My heart goes out to you. We went through this with our first Havanese and when the time came we knew it was the kindest last act we could do for her. We were told by the vet that at her age, there was no hope of recovery or life without pain. She died peacefully in our arms, rather than alone, with the help of our vet. God bless you, and my thoughts and prayers are with you as you travel this road. Nancy
 
#21 ·
I am so very sorry to hear this news. I understand your pain, I have been through it more than once and it is horrible. I know how much you love your beautiful girl and I know you hate seeing the pain she is going through. You will do what is best for her because you love her. Talk to your vet and get every piece of information you can to make the best decision for her. Please keep posting and know we are here to talk to. Sending you and your girl hugs.
 
#22 ·
I am so sorry for the news, but glad you have the knowledge now to put her first and not let her suffer when the vet can no longer help her to be pain free.

She's lived a good long life for a mix with Great Dane. You obviously love her very much, and she knows it.

So sorry.
 
#23 · (Edited)
I'm sorry too!! :crying: I feel your pain and hope that you and your dog find some comfort. The prednisone should help her. We did this for our dog in March who went Into the vet for heart worm pills but got a surprise diagnosis of T cell lymphoma diagnosis. I was heartbroken, as I'm sure you are with your dog. We didn't choose to do chemo, but put her on prednisone to mask the pain. Unfortunately within a week she had stopped eating, drinking and didn't want to move and got VERY sick. She had late stage. So we decided to not let her not suffer anymore. Our Vet said it Was a VERY humane thing to do for her because of her disease and quality of life. My vet said that she would do this if it were her dog which made me feel a little better. I couldn't stand to see her suffer anymore so I did the best thing I could do for her. She will tell you when it's time. Please Take care and I hope the best for you both. :crying:
 

Attachments

#24 ·
Sorry, I didn't read the whole thread, but I'll answer the original question. For us, it's when they have nothing that they look forward to enjoying. If they enjoy eating, it's usually a good thing. They will have up's and down's. But when the end is near, and the up's stop coming, there is no need to prolong it.

Pam and I have been here for over 37 years with all sorts of animals. None went through any unnecessary suffering, but lived full, pleasant lives. We have quite a graveyard, and it never gets any easier, but we still enjoy having animals to share our lives, and try to make theirs as pleasant as possible.

Good luck!!!
 
#25 ·
I know I titled when to let go but thought I had at least a year left with her and wanted to know signs of when it was closer I had no idea she was in so much pain
The vet has told me we can do a bone biopsy? if I want to idk I was kinda in shock and didn't catch everything he said about that
He said I could amputate her leg but with her arthritis and age he thinks it's better to manage her pain until I'm ready I don't want her to be in pain but I can't make this decision yet
I have been researching this a lot today and thinking about going to an oncologist? ( I think it's called) and seeing what they say
online it says dogs can live a while if given radiation for pain so was going to look into that if it helps her not be in pain and gives me a few more months she's still eating and potting outside but just not playing much and when she stands from laying she looks really stiff sometimes limps a little so I'm sure she's in pain even with the meds the vet gave her I know I should do what's best for her its hard to know how much she hurts but think if she was to the point of euthanasia she would be worse wouldn't she? Idk if I'm just trying to hold on longer so looking for ways to keep her? or if she really is not to that point yet
I am so sorry to everyone that has lost dogs this is a horrible thing to deal with and I can't believe it's happening to her


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
#26 · (Edited)
I often think that the decision of when to let go is a reflection of your choice for yourself on that matter. My husband says he would choose to live every day that he could while I really only want to have one very bad day and then have it be over. We have only had to make the choice once to put a dog to sleep and we went with my views on the one bad day. Our dog was 13 and had a wonderful life but she got a serious eye disease and I knew she would be completely traumatized by the proposed surgery. Instead she had a very peaceful death. Sometimes I wonder if I could have kept her going for a few more years but I knew that would come at a very high emotional cost. I am at peace with my choice but I understand that everyone has to find their own kind of peace. I am thinking of you as you struggle with this hard choice.
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top