at the end of my rope... - Page 2 - Havanese Forum : Havanese Forums
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post #11 of 190 (permalink) Old 12-22-2012, 09:00 AM
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Oh, Tammy. I feel so bad. And you have NOT failed!!! You are one of the best, most conscientious dog owners i know! Whatever happens, it is NOT your fault!!!

I wouldn't let my husband bully me into not attending to my animal's needs, but I also know that's hard to do. (like Evelyn, I've had a lot more years to practice standing up for myself!). And the timing COULDN'T be worse, but that tends to be the case with these things, whether it's kids or animals. I've spent holidays in cold barns with colicking horses and mares having trouble foaling.

That said, I DON'T think Tillies's problem is acute, and it's going to take some time to sort out. Could you call your regular vet, explain the symptoms (just like last time) and ask if, under the circumstances, you could pick up another round of antibiotics (or whatever she was on before) to get her started on.

Then, after Christmas, I'd see if I could find a good holistic vet in the area, who can look at the WHOLE picture. If that person is experienced with Havanese, so much the better. I'd also ask that vet if they have a trainer they could recommend who cna also look at the whole situation and help figure it out.

The problem is that whether the root cause is physical or behavioral, there are serious behavioral aspects to it at the moment. And sometimes things that start out as physical problems can become ingrained behaioral problems unless they are approached from both angles. Certainly, I wouldn't let her NEAR the bedrooms without close supervision for a long, LONG time at this point. (I'm talking months to a year, here... You've really got to TOTALLY prevent that behavior, and let her start building positive experiences again.

Another resource that I haven't heard you mention is Tillie's breeder. Have you contacted her? Breeders know the dogs in their lines. She might know of another dog that developed similar problems, or be able to give you some insight into how best to approach the problem.

In any case, you ar NOT a bad person, and Tillie is NOT a bad dog. You need to remind DH that Tillie is a member of the family, and her needs have to be considered too. Just as it is expensive to buy a nice dog, there are also expenses (often completely unforeseen) that can come up once you have an animal. He needs to understand that, and at least not get in your way when you are trying so hard to figure out a solution.

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post #12 of 190 (permalink) Old 12-22-2012, 10:04 AM
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Tammy - please don't think you have failed with Tillie - we all here know that is not the case.

I wish I was closer so I could help you out during this time - is there anyone you can rely on to give Tillie lots of attention / care while you are out of town....I know how stressful everything seems right now - and I do believe if you think something is wrong you know best....please try and be strong - it will work itself out

Big hugs

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post #13 of 190 (permalink) Old 12-22-2012, 10:22 AM
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Your dilemma with Tillie, DH and the kids brought tears to my eyes. You have definitely NOT failed. We all know what a great Mom you've been to Tillie and always done what's best for her. I have no advice for you other than to go with your gut instincts, as you know her best, and if she doesn't seem right to you, she probably isn't. I hope and pray that all goes well for you and Tillie. Hang in there and know that we are all here for you. Glad you vented to us. You need someplace to turn right now without the support of your family. We're all thinking of you.

Mary (miss you, Bailey-1996-2011 and Tyler-1997-2015)
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post #14 of 190 (permalink) Old 12-22-2012, 10:31 AM
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OMG. Tammy I am so sorry to hear this. You must be beside yourself. I know how much you love Tillie. It seems like there must be something going on. How could she change so quickly? It seems to me like she is shaking out of pain. I wonder if you would consider trying another vet?
I hope you get this resolved. It would be a shame for you to have to rehome her. Whatever happens we support you though. I know Tillie was never neglected! You are a great furmom

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post #15 of 190 (permalink) Old 12-22-2012, 10:33 AM
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[QUOTE=whimsy;459166]I feel so horrlbly sick about what you just told us about Tillie.. I know how upset you are hon because I would feel exactly the same way if Whimsy were sick like this. They are like our children! The worst part is that your husband is being so cold about it. I would stay home,take her to the vet and ignore what your DH says. She needs help and you are the only one who can give it to her.( I know it is easy for me to say ignore your husband, but I have been married for 45 years and I would re-home him over Whimsy in a heartbeat) I will be thinking about you and Tillie and hope that you can get things resolved![/QUOT

I so agree!

Mom to Phoenix too
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post #16 of 190 (permalink) Old 12-22-2012, 11:39 AM
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So sorry about all of this! It does sound like something urinary is going on. Marlowe had an accident for the first time in years while laying on the couch. UTI with antibiotics cleared him up, but the vet said I could just bring a urine sample (catch some with tupperware) if it happens again rather than the whole ordeal of bringing Marlowe to the vet. Perhaps you could do something similar? Just having them run a urine sample and give you antibiotics would be less expensive than having a vet exam as well - at least the way my vet charges. It might be worth the expense of having them culture the urine because the bug she has may be resistant to the standard antibiotics and she needs different ones. I'm certain everything started because Tillie isn't feeling well and not anything you did. The only time Marlowe has ever snapped or had an accident (after puppyhood) was while being sick.

I'd throw in the argument with the husband that you're not going to be good company knowing your kid is sick and you're not doing anything about it. It'll be better for all involved if you did what you could to get Tillie better (ie take her to the vet) than worry, doing nothing until after Christmas.
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post #17 of 190 (permalink) Old 12-22-2012, 11:42 AM
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After reading other members responses two or three really make sense to me. First Karens idea of the vet giving another round of antibiotics wouldn't cost very much. Did you ever have a follow up to really know the infection was gone? My sisters dog had to go on three rounds before she got better. I know Augie didn't get better the first round. Can you try a sedative for the car ride and take her with you? I have friends who give their dogs something like benadryl ( not positive that's what they give. I can call and find out the dose if you want.
I can remember you telling us your son got bit by her or something like that. Do you think maybe the problem could be how he treats her? I'm just trying to think not blame. In my heart I would have a problem not addressing her needs by first getting more antibiotics then taking her with you so you can monitor her needs better.
I know what its like to be having financial problems and only having enough to house and feed yourself. Please don't even think about being a failer you are by far someone I look at as being so not that! Your Husband is obviously stressed. Take a deep breath call the vet about the antibiotics try to take her with you and enjoy Christmas.
PS DO NOT FEEL MONEY IS AN ISSUE I KNOW PEOPLE HERE WOULD HELP IF YOU NEED MORE. I would send you enough to find out if I had it.

Maddie at 5mo old
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post #18 of 190 (permalink) Old 12-22-2012, 11:56 AM Thread Starter
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thanks for all the comments and encourgement... I really need it.

My husband is certain it is a behavioral issue ... I am certain it is a physical issue. There doesn't seem to be any middle ground.

I am with her, so far today no shaking, no odd behavior... staying home with her.
My plan is to take her to the vet on Monday when he is at work. and charge it. lol
Unless of course something goes horribly bad between now and then.
please pray for Tillie and for all of us. I was crying into the wee hours last night. I miss my girl so much... so very much. And to not have the support and love of my family is tearing me apart. AND to see how cold and unfeeling they have become towards Tillie breaks my heart. I keep telling them pushing her away and ignoring her is NOT going to help. SHe needs to know we love her unconditionally... it's like there is something wrong so they don't want her anymore, I can not understand how we have gone all this time and now they are reacting this way. I know they love her deep down, but I think they are just as tired as I am of these behaviors and miss our old Tillie, they don't know how to express that, I think. sigh.
I am loving her with everything, hoping she knows we love her and will take care of her ...
Oh and I am totally okay with seeing another vet, I'm looking around for one now, the one I see now is a natural kind of holistic vet. Maybe she needs a more in depth medicinal dr.?
thank you again. so thankful I can come here and have friends who truly understand.

Tammy and Tillie
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post #19 of 190 (permalink) Old 12-22-2012, 12:11 PM
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Your new insurance I hope would cover the testing for her trembling. It includes a urine test blood work ect... I think It would be a good idea to go to another more medical type vet.

Maddie at 5mo old
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post #20 of 190 (permalink) Old 12-22-2012, 12:12 PM
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Does anyone live near Tillie that could offer a good recommendation for a vet ?
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