My name is Mike and i was a member of a yahoo email list back in 1999 and 2000 when i first got my male Havanese Tucker. He was born Nov. 21, 1999 and I got him from Crofton Havanese in Orlando.
Last June, Tucker was diagnosed with heart failure and ever since he's been take three pills twice a day (lasics) to keep fluid from around his heart. I was told then that I might be able to have him for another year.
Wednesday night he had an extreme episode and Thursday morning I took him to my vet. Later that day they advised me to take him to LSU Veterinary school to see their cardiologist.. They immediately put him on more lasics and he's been in an oxygen and temperature controlled pen ever since.
I drove back to LSU yesterday and saw him and he seemed a little bit better but certainly no tail wag. Very lethargic and drawn. I had a pupcorn in my pocket which has been his favorite treats since he was a puppy. He took it in his mouth but wouldnt eat it. I was told later he ate it.
They told me yesterday that i could likely pick him up today. Well, this morning the vet called and said he hasnt improved like they like as his heart rate is still high and the fluid has not dissipated enough. His kidney numbers were fine so they are going to increase the Furosemide.
The pain I am feeling right now is greater than anything I've ever felt. I am not going to be selfish as I am prepared to let him go if his quality of life is no longer good. He's lived a fantastic life with me and he's had a great 13 years and 3 months on this planet.
With this sadness I can certainly understand now why so many former dog owners decide to never get a dog again as the pain is so great. I havent stopped crying today and it's been tough since Thursday. When I left my vet Thursday I was so broken up that I couldnt compose myself to sign the VISA receipt and then get on the hour long drive to LSU. Luckily my girl friend demanded that she meet me so that she could drive me to Baton Rouge.
I live alone and the last two days have been horrible. I work from home as well so I am used to him being near me. I miss his sounds as he scratches or walks on my wood floor. I go into the kitchen and I see his dog treats and his bowls on the floor. I go into my bedroom and I see his crate on the side of my bed. His dog bed in the front foyer. It's all so sad.
I'm dreading the call for them to tell me that he just has not responded to treatment and it's time to put him down. I'm holding out hope and I will do anything for a few more months with him, but if he's in pain and his quality of life will not be there, then i will not be selfish.
My love for Tucker is greater than anything I've ever known and I've been so blessed to have him in my life.
I wish i could stop crying.