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at the end of my rope...

29K views 189 replies 52 participants last post by  Suzi 
#1 ·
... hey guys.
It's been a rough couple of months for us with Tillie and her health.
She has developed this horrible trembling that happens frequently, we can no longer take her in the car, she is a nervous WRECK in the car. and now she has started trembling at all other times of the day as well. I have taken her to the vet, he can't find anything wrong. She had the infection/crystals in her urine about 2 months ago... Honestly, she is stressing me out so much.
She isn't the same dog. I don't know what is going on.
I have been thinking and I thought maybe she just needs more one on one time, more attention as I have been busier than usual recently. So, over the past fews days I have been making a huge point of playing games, training, playing fetch, etc. I thought maybe it was helping as she has seemed happier today... Well, tonight, she pee'd on my sons bed. She hasn't done that since her infection. My husband is IRATE. insists it is behavioral and because she had an infection when we got her pet insurance, it won't cover any urinary issues. We can't afford another vet bill, he says business as 'usual' and that we have plans and that she can't interfere with our plans.
I fear if things aren't resolved soon, he may make me rehome her.
I can't believe I am even confessing all of this. Tillie has always been my light, my companion, our joy... and something is wrong. I have been saying it for weeks and weeks and no one will listen to me. The kids insist they hate her .... she has become fearful and aggressive. I KNOW she has to be in pain, something is seriously wrong, yet nothing can be found ... I haven't wanted to come here and tell you all what has been happening because I feel like I have failed. I have failed Tillie, I have failed myself and my kids.
I just don't know what to do. There is something wrong, I know it. For her to pee on the bed again tonight. I know she has an infection or the crystals are back ... she is trying to TELL me something. I want to take her to the vet tomorrow, but we have out of town plans and because of her recent fear of the car we can't take her with us, so a friend is going to come over mid day to let her out and play with her for a bit, but how can I leave her knowing there is something wrong and that she needs to go to the vet.. and then we run into Christmas.... my husband insists that we have plans and that Tillie isn't going to change those plans and that we can't afford another vet bill.
I don't know why I am telling you all this, I guess I just needed to vent to those that I know understand my heartbreak and frustration. I just don't know what to do and I miss my little girl so much... I haven't seen her smile in months....
 
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#29 ·
I'm so sorry! You are NOT a failure! If you know something is wrong then you are right. Mommies always know. Tillie relies on you to advocate for her and get her the help she needs. You are definitely her person and it is your role, sadly to the exclusion of other family members. But maybe at the end of the day, this experience will be a learning opportunity for your family to be more compassionate.

Once when Buster was sick with an ear infection, he bit my husband. He would NEVER bite otherwise. He also trembled when he was in pain. Perhaps your son unknowingly touched the part of her body that hurts and that's why she bit. perhaps it's a part of her body that gets touched frequently and that's what could be causing the aggression. Something is wrong with Tillie and they haven't found it yet, and I agree with you that she is trying to communicate it. That's the toughest thing: they can't tell us and that's why we often feel helpless and feel like we have failed. We all know you are doing your best and we support you. Please check in and let us know any updates. Big warm hug.

Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App
 
#30 ·
Quoted earlier in the thread: "Another thing to try is more exercise. A tired dog is less likely to get anxious, stressed, aggressive, etc.". End quote.

I would hold off on exercising her too much. If she is physically ill and/or in pain--which seems pretty likely--she will need her energy to heal and recuperate. Perhaps the vet can prescribe some pain meds or mild sedatives? If you see improvement from either medication, it could be an indication of the cause of her problem.

I'm throwing out every idea I can think of, Hoping that something I suggest might ring a bell and be helpful. Xoxo

Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App
 
#31 ·
Sorry I can't contribute any more suggestions than what's already been posted. Have you explained to the kids that Tillie might be in pain, just like they are sometimes and it makes her not act normally? Usually kids can relate if you make it personal to them. You know Tillie better than anyone in the family, I hope your husband will come to understand that.
Here's a link to financial assistance that I kept for future reference. Maybe that will help if this situation becomes more complicated. You can explain to your husband that there are resources available.
http://speakingforspot.com/?p=Financial Assistance for Veterinary Care
Hope there's good news soon.
Monica, Dooley & Roxie
 
#33 ·
thanks so much everyone!
I am keeping a very close eye on her and spending some much needed time with her.
She IS going outside to pee a lot. I am going to try to call her vet on Monday (if they are open) and hope that based on her history and symptoms that he will give me another Rx... if not then we will go in. I plan on having a full blood/urine work up done after the 1st of the year asap. I know in my gut something is wrong.
My husband and kids love Tillie, but my husband is SUPER sick and is so overwhelmed with work, I think he is just stressed out and then I am stressed about Tillie and she is feeding off my stress and well... we are just a big ol mess over here.
 
#34 ·
Hi Tammy,

I am so sorry to hear about your stress with Tillie. I wished we lived closer and could help you out.

Murphy went through a problem with crystals in his urine/bladder infection last spring. He actually had to go through two rounds of antibiotics and the vet also prescribed Methigel which is a urinary acidifier. methigel was not very expensive, but seemed to help a lot. Once we got the problem cleared up, I switched Murphy to a raw diet and we have not had issues since. A raw diet can be more acidic which can counter balance the alkaline issues which cause problems. Since Murphy and Tillie have the same parents, I wonder if you should contact Jodie to see if this is common in her dogs.

It seems like Tillie is very stressed and with the family members being upset with her it is probably making her worse. I know if my daughter gets upset and yells, Murphy will run into his crate. These dogs definitely key in on our emotions and feelings.

Do you live close enough to U.C. Davis? I know they have a wonderful veterinary program and might be able to help you.

Big hugs from me and Murphy! I really hope you find out what is wrong and life gets better soon!!
 
#35 ·
Wonder if there is something you can add to Tillie's already established diet to add acidity. I'll be thinking of you and hope to hear if the doc listens and gives you antibiotics without seeing her.

Glad you're planning on a full work up after the first of the year. Maybe then your hubby won't be so stressed, with the holidays past.

HUGS. And you are in no way a failure. Not at all. You're so in tune with your dog that its crazy. Failure is not the word. Frustrated with your hubby and family is more like it.

You're welcome to come down and take her to Trooper's vet. I'd go with you. Might be far for you, but know that the offer stands. Don't forget I'm a hop skip and jump past your mom, off of 65. :)

Hang in there. You know what is right.
 
#36 ·
Ok, take a deep breathe and just exhale and repeat. Feel your whole body relaxing with each breath and visualize your stressors rolling down off of you, like water.

You are a good person, a good mother, wife and furbaby mommy. Right now things are tense and stressful and everybody is triggering each other which is only compounding things. Almost like a perfect storm of tension, anxiety and stress.

This situation WILL resolve itself and your family will go back to a more stable and peaceful place....you will get Tillie checked out and a solution and/or plan will be formulated. I know Dionna has recurrent irritated private parts and we have had a few different medicated creams and washes for the area so I certainly believe that it is possible that Tillie is having continued issues.

I am going to pray for you and your entire family. I am praying for Tillie. I am sending prayers and healing energy to envelope your entire family and praying for your vet to diagnose what is wrong.

Be well. Keep us posted. You have a lot of people supporting you here :)
 
#38 · (Edited)
Tammy, my heart is breaking. I know how hard this must be... The urinating does sound like a health issue. The other things could very well be thyroid too. But it also could be behavioral. You say your husband and children don't want anything to do with her anymore... This could be some sort of marking or territorial behavior. Cats have been know to pee "where you live" out of revenge... Dogs don't normally act that way... But have heard of havs being more catlike.

I think you need to rally your family. Poor Tillie has gone from being a beloved family pet to being ignored by everyone but you. And you, her rock, is stressed. The one thing I can say, is deal with this now! Even if there is a medical/physical issue...it has gone on long enough it could become a permanent behavior issue. I watched this happen to my hav-a-niece... Cute little puppy, young hav, everyone loved her... A few problems, including potty problems, and the busy family just ignored her...except my SIL... Who really didn't have enough time... problems got worse... She became aggressive to everyone but my SIL.

Havanese are very sensitive dogs at best. Very impressionable and reactive.

Please, please , please do not take this as critisism. Family dynamics are so hard, and around the holidays especially. But I just don't think you can do this (nor should you have to) without your family on board.

Perhaps this can become a life lesson for your kids... Maybe your DH could get behind that. What a great time of year talk about the value of a life. Commitment to taking care of a living thing through good and bad. And that pets aren't disposable.

Just want to share my own sort of wake up to this. When we added Cash to our pack... I had severe post pupdom deprssession... Little puppy Cash, was terrorizing Jasper with his needle teeth. He was peeing everywhere... And making screeching noises like an orangoutang whenever we left the room. I wanted to send Cash back to the breeder. My DH listened to my whining for a few days and then told me very sternly(which he has never done before or since) "He is not a pair of shoes you can just return." I was silenced, and then mortified at myself. It really hit a chord with me. Cash is happily 6 and now my favorite (at least half the time.)

Good luck. Please keep us posted.
 
#40 ·
Tammy, my heart is breaking. I know how hard this must be... The urinating does sound like a health issue. The other things could very well be thyroid too. But it also could be behavioral. You say your husband and children don't want anything to do with her anymore... This could be some sort of marking or territorial behavior. Cats have been know to pee "where you live" out of revenge... Dogs don't normally act that way... But have heard of havs being more catlike.

I think you need to rally your family. Poor Tillie has gone from being a beloved family pet to being ignored by everyone but you. And you, her rock, is stressed. The one thing I can say, is deal with this now! Even if there is a medical/physical issue...it has gone on long enough it could become a permanent behavior issue. I watched this happen to my hav-a-niece... Cute little puppy, young hav, everyone loved her... A few problems, including potty problems, and the busy family just ignored her...except my SIL... Who really didn't have enough time... problems got worse... She became aggressive to everyone but my SIL.

Havanese are very sensitive dogs at best. Very impressionable and reactive.

Please, please , please do not take this as critisism. Family dynamics are so hard, and around the holidays especially. But I just don't think you can do this (nor should you have to) without your family on board.

Perhaps this can become a life lesson for your kids... Maybe your DH could get behind that. What a great time of year talk about the value of a life. Commitment to taking care of a living thing through good and bad. And that pets aren't disposable.

Just want to share my own sort of wake up to this. When we added Cash to our pack... I had severe post pupdom deprssession... Little puppy Cash, was terrorizing Jasper with his needle teeth. He was peeing everywhere... And making screeching noises like an orangoutang whenever we left the room. I wanted to send Cash back to the breeder. My DH listened to my whining for a few days and then told me very sternly(which he has never done before or since) "He is not a pair of shoes you can just return." I was silenced, and then mortified at myself. It really hit a chord with me. Cash is happily 6 and now my favorite (at least half the time.)

Good luck. Please keep us posted.
Nice post, Missy.
 
#39 ·
You've got to feel the love, Tammy. What a great, caring bunch on this forum. I'm proud to "know" everyone. Keep your chin up. I know you'll get to the bottom of this. Just keep us all posted. Hugs, again, from Tyler and me.
 
#41 ·
thanks for all of your loving posts. not sure what I would do without your understanding, advice and encouragment!!
I have been with Tillie non stop the past few days, since her last 'accident'. She hasn't had anymore, BUT SHE 'found' an 'accident' last night. It was VERY interesting...
My husband has been sleeping in the living room because he is sick and snoring, so he hasn't slept in bed for over a week. Anywho, last night at bedtime I really wanted to spend some 'normal' time with Tillie and since my husband was out I decided to let Tillie snuggle with me as we usually do at bedtime. She happily climbed all over me and then snuffled up under the covers on my husbands side. I lifted the blankets and was watching her very closely... well as she was snuffling and digging in the sheets, she all of a sudden started frantically sniffing and then FROZE. panic over took her face, she BOLTED out from under the covers and straight to her crate... huh? So, of course I investigated, I didn't feel or SEE anything unusual.. then I got down and sniffed. yup. at SOME point in the past week, she pee'd on our bed. It was completely dry, but unmistakable in the smell... comforter, right down to the mattress.
On top of church, taking the kids Christmas shopping, cleaning, making cinnamon rolls, finishing some gifts, I had to take the comforter down to the laundromat to be washed. My husband actually tried to stop me from doing that. WHAT? like I WANT to be doing THIS, 2 days before Christmas???? ack. SO, of course I went to the laundromat. I explained to my husband that if we don't wash EVERYTHING, with bleach and get the smell out, she will have a 100% chance of this happeneing again, because she SMELLS her own pee and it signals her brain that THIS is where she should PEE. roar.
Anywho, the bedding is finally all clean, and I need to put it all together again.

Angie... I may take you up on that offer to see your vet. We'll see what her vet can do to help first, I'll keep you posted. thanks :D

I will call Tillie's vet tomorrow.. not sure if they will be open, I know there is something wrong and somehow I will figure this out. We all miss Tillie.
I tried to take her for a walk tonight. epic.fail. She would barely walk at all. It wasn't very cold, maybe 50 degrees... she wouldn't walk, had her tail tucked under, whole nine yards. :(
Does anyone know, it is common for thyroid issues to pop up anytime in their life?

My son is coming around and Tillie is very thankful, she has given him full on body wiggles several times today. It is very obvious that she misses being the center of our family... my daughter has never had a strong bond with Tillie, so I don't see Tillie missing her much, if that makes sense. To have my sons love and my devotion will hopefully get her through this... and all of you to help ME get through this. :)
 
#43 ·
Tammy,
Tillie not wanting to walk makes me really think there is something going on. Has she ever not wanted to walk in the past? Fred loves his walks, but when he had his knee surgery, he refused to do long walks. He would stop and not budge. It was so unlike fred not wanting to walk. I had to do walks for therapy so it was a struggle. I thought he would never do a ful walk again! It took months before this behavior stopped. He was telling me, this hurts!

I feel strongly something will show up in her blood work. Good luck today.
 
#44 ·
Tammy,
Tillie not wanting to walk makes me really think there is something going on. Has she ever not wanted to walk in the past? Fred loves his walks, but when he had his knee surgery, he refused to do long walks. He would stop and not budge. It was so unlike fred not wanting to walk. I had to do walks for therapy so it was a struggle. I thought he would never do a ful walk again! It took months before this behavior stopped. He was telling me, this hurts!

I feel strongly something will show up in her blood work. Good luck today.
I agree. And even if it doesn't show up in her blood work, SOMETHING is still physically wrong SOMEWHERE!
 
#47 ·
it's after 8am here, I called and was surprised that they are open!
Although it doesn't sound as if the vet is there today.
I told the receptionist what's been going on and now I am waiting for the vet to call.
Hoping they will give me antibiotics for now at least... based on her short history. sigh.
 
#48 ·
Update!

Vet called me back and said that in his opinion and based on her history he thinks she may have a resistant infection or that the crystals are growing in number... :(
He actually called in TWO prescriptions to the regular pharmacy for her!! Cipro and Keflex... does anyone have any experience with these meds? She'll be getting 2ml's twice a day for 14 days of the Keflex and 1/3 of a tablet of the Cipro for 14 days also.
AND the best part, both meds are only going to cost $20!! My husband can't argue in ANY way with THAT right?? :D
Her vet wants to see her after the 14 days for another unrinalysis and I told him I wanted to a full blood work up at that point too, he agreed it was definitly needed, especially IF she is still having issues.
whew. relieved and thankful. We have a really good vet and I was hopeful that he would be able to help, even on Christmas eve. :D
Thank you all .. I will surely keep you updated, love you all!! :whoo:
 
#55 ·
That is great news, Tammy! And what a relief to be able to get something started even now, before Christmas! I agree with Joyce, I used to get frequent, severe and persistent UTI's, and if they weren't caught (and stopped early enough) would back up into my kidneys. At that time, Cipro was considered a drug of last resort, because they saved it for those who were severely imuno-compromised, like those with end-stage AIDS. But they tried so many other things that they finally tried me on the Cipro, and it worked immediately. It's also one of the few antibiotics that reaches the same blood levels quickly, whether administered by IV or orally. So it gets into the system fast. Now there are newer drugs for antibiotic-resistant infections and imuno-compromised people, so Cipro is used more often in less critical applications.

Also remember how long Robbie's boy was sick with his UTI, and the strange symptoms... He had trouble pooping, seemed to have a sore back, and I think other symptoms as well.

Anyway, I hope it helps her FAST and you have a new doggy again before long!
 
#49 ·
I get frequent UTI's and take CIPRO for them. It works perfectly and fast. Here's hoping it works for Tillie. So glad that your vet was so responsive on Christmas Eve. Happy holidays to you, your family, and, of course, Tillie.
 
#50 ·
Good luck, Tammy! I really hope that this med regimen works, and that Tillie is back to her old self in no time. You know, reading about your struggles w/Tillie brings to mind a tv show I like to watch, "Mystery Diagnosis", on Discovery Fit and Health. I don't know if you get that one, but anyway, it's about humans, but is relevant in that they are dealing with a constellation of symptoms that the doctors can't figure out. In the end they get it straightened out, but sometimes it takes a while. The point being... PERSISTENCE PAYS OFF! Wishing all the best to you and yours.
-- Eileen
 
#51 ·
Glad things are looking up Tammy. I hope you all enjoy Christmas, knowing that you are on the right tract with Tillie and that, at least, your son is coming around. . Merry Christmas and I hope you get the e-reader you want.
 
#52 ·
Tammy, I am sooo glad to read that the vet called you back and that Tillie is getting treatment and that you and the vet have a plan to get to the bottom of this. I so hope that Tillie responds to this treatment. Hopefully, now you can relax a bit and enjoy your Christmas! Best wishes to you and your family, and to that sweet Tillie. May she soon be back to her sweet loving self!
 
#53 ·
Hi Tammy, I just read through your post and all the responses and want to reiterate that the people on this forum are so kind and caring..

I am so sorry with what you are going through and completely empathize with how you feel - but so glad your vet called in both prescriptions. These dogs do tremble when they are in pain (my Honey has been trembling a lot since her ACL surgery last week & it makes me feel so helpless), and accidents can happen if they are uncomfortable too..

If it is another UTI, then I am sure the antibiotics will help with it.. A few ppl mentioned white dog shaking syndrome - a friend of mine has a maltese who has it & has responded beautifully to treatment.

More than anything, please know that you are a good momma to Tillie and you have so many ppl to support you.

Take care, and keep us updated.
 
#54 ·
one day at a time, Tammy. Take her outside as much as possible. You want to remind her where she needs to go. , treat her like an eight week old pup. Merry Christmas.
 
#56 ·
thanks everyone!

Yes, Dave, as soon as the accident happened the x-pen was back up. I am taking her out every hour, sometimes she asks to go more often, sometimes she'll go a few hours. Another odd thing is that she isn't drinking. at all. from her water dish. This started a few weeks ago. I have been adding 1/4 cup of water to her meals just to keep her hydrated... :(
So, ya. Antibiotics started, gates up. She isn't even allowed down the hall toward the bedrooms unless it is time for HER to go to bed (in her crate as always). We have a plan ... Her trembling isn't all the time, so I'm thinking that's good. Although I DID notice her trembling more in the morning and this morning for the first time I saw her trembling while she was trying to pee. And she pee's forever... At first I kept thinking, WOW, Till, that was a BIG pee .. now I realize when you have a UTI it hurts and you push and push thinking you need to pee but barely any dribbles out ... I think that is what's going on. She is alseep at the foot of my recliner, passed out blissfully, no trembling. :D
 
#57 ·
thanks everyone!

Yes, Dave, as soon as the accident happened the x-pen was back up. I am taking her out every hour, sometimes she asks to go more often, sometimes she'll go a few hours. Another odd thing is that she isn't drinking. at all. from her water dish. This started a few weeks ago. I have been adding 1/4 cup of water to her meals just to keep her hydrated... :(
Tammy, if she's not drinking, make sure you check her gums regularly. If they start to look dark, are dry or tacky, or don't change quickly from white back to a healthy pink if you press on them, it is a sign she is getting really dehydrated, and needs IV or sub-cu fluids. This is especially important for you to watch for over the next day or so, before you can get her to the regular vet. If she becomes dehydrated, it is a medical emergency.

Here's a good article on what to watch for.

http://www.the-happy-dog-spot.com/dehydration-in-dogs.html
 
#58 ·
yes, thanks for that Karen! I am checking her gums frequently. I tried to do the
"pinch the nape of her neck and see if the skin flattens or tents" thing... but all I could do was grab hair! ha ha and then when I DID get her neck I couldn't SEE what it was doing cause of all the hair! fur ball. lol
Got the meds, giving her her first dose in a bit ... does anyone know if it's okay to give the Keflex AND the cipro near the same time? She needs 1 of them twice a day and one of them only once a day.
It is such an enormous blessing that I work at a school and will be able to be with her 24/7 over the next 2 1/2 weeks. :)
 
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