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New Havanese owner needs reassurance

83K views 815 replies 95 participants last post by  Lalla 
#1 ·
Hi, I have been reading this site for awhile waiting to find my Havanese. Well, I got her today.

She is 2 1/2 years old and came from a breeder who said she made it quite clear she did not want to be a mom. Apparently she teased the males and then at the critical moment, would roll onto her back and wave her feet in the air, thus making it all impossible for the male dog.

Anyway, she is here next to me. My problem is she will stay exactly where I put her. She won't walk around outside or inside. She won't eat or drink. She did pee once about 3 hours ago when I brought her home.

Supposedly she is not housebroken and she was supposed to be socialized by owner's children. I was told she is shy and takes awhile to warm up to strangers. Quite un - Hav - like, right? She does not seem to know her name.

She is adorable, white with black ears and some black spots on her back.

I think she was traumatized by the 2 1/2 hour car ride here. She vomited in the car in her crate on the way.

Do I just keep talking to her and keep watching her to see if she needs to go outside? Please talk to me.
 
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#2 ·
I learned a lot of things the hard way. One is not to give her run of the house. Another is to let her come to you first. When they are shy that is the best way to go. We got our Abby when she was eight months old and she was traumatized by the plane trip. It will take a lot of patience but she should eventually come around. I would start from scratch with the potty training by taking her out on a leash every two - three hours. I'm certainly not an expert so I hope some others will jump in here. As I said it will take time but it will be well worth it in the end. Good luck with your little girl!
 
#3 ·
i think that the way that you're describing your dog is very normal. the first day or 2 are usually pretty tough on the dog. let your dog come to you, don't baby her, and eventually she'll get more outgoing. this is all a shock to her right now, so just give her some space and she'll warm up to you.

she won't respond to things like her name right away because she is scared, but that'll come in time. probably a week or so. don't fret. this is all normal =) it just seems like first day jitters.
 
#4 ·
Welcome to the forum. See what happens tomorrow. It has been a big day for her. Many Havs are sensitive and take a while with new situations. Encourage her with love and treats. Try to let her come to you on her own terms. And just try to keep things upbeat.

Are you going to crate her? If so place her crate tonight by your bed so she can see and hear you.

Keep us posted. I am sure she will come out of her shell in no time. And, I think I can speak for everyone here...Pictures Please. What is her name?
 
#5 ·
Take a deep breath and relax. Every day will get easier. I agree with the advice everyone has given you. Let her come to you on her own terms. Give her lots of love. Treat her like a puppy when it comes to housebreaking. Bring her outside as often as you can. Do you have an ex-pen or crate for her? I definitely wouldn't give her free access to the whole house. The more relaxed you are the more relaxed she'll be.
 
#6 ·
WELCOME and CONGRATULATIONS!!! It'll be okay. Give her some time. Since she's not a pup it may take more than a day or two to not be quite so shell-shocked but be patient and don't give up. She'll come around. When I first got Tess I couldn't get near her, so I left a leash on her around the clock (except when you're crating her, if that's what you're doing - you don't want the leash/collar to get caught on the crate) so I could catch her with minimal stress on either of us when it was time to go out. Along with trying to catch her when you think she needs to go out, set yourself on a set schedule for a while - go outside every 1/2 hour, then 45 min, etc. Try to have a few very low key days with minimal noise/excitement (if that's possible in your house). Make your movements as slow as possible and let her take things at her own speed. Try to be aware of you're own emotions - breath deeply when you need to and try to relax. It will be okay. This will work out just fine. It may not be the homecoming you had imagined but many of us have been in your shoes, wondering what in the world we've gotten ourselves in to - you'll both get to the other side! GOOD LUCK! Feel free to ask any questions and come back for reassurance whenever you need it.
 
#101 ·
I agree with Jill about being aware of your emotions. When I got Lucky (I adopted him from a shelter at about age 5) he was quite shy. I was a nervous wreck myself wondering if I was doing everything right. The funny thing is that the first time he jumped in my lap was when I was on the phone with a friend and I was laughing at something she said. I'm telling you, they can sense what you're feeling, so hard as it might be try to remain calm and happy. (Easier said than done...I know!)
 
#7 ·
Thanks so much for all your replies. Her name is Maggie. When I can figure out how to do pictures here, I will. I will put her by my bed tonite. I hope she will be hungry tomorrow. She sniffed at treats tonite, but did not eat one.

I knew I wanted a Havanese after meeting the one next door. I was smitten. I have looked for over 5 months for an adult female as that is what is next door. I know when my neighbor and her little girl return in a couple weeks from their summer lake home in Minnesota, that I will get some good advice. But tonite I may be as overwhelmed as Maggie.

Right now she just dropped off to sleep at me feet. Progress, yes?
 
#8 ·
Thanks so much for all your replies. Her name is Maggie. When I can figure out how to do pictures here, I will. I will put her by my bed tonite. I hope she will be hungry tomorrow. She sniffed at treats tonite, but did not eat one.

I knew I wanted a Havanese after meeting the one next door. I was smitten. I have looked for over 5 months for an adult female as that is what is next door. I know when my neighbor and her little girl return in a couple weeks from their summer lake home in Minnesota, that I will get some good advice. But tonite I may be as overwhelmed as Maggie.

Right now she just dropped off to sleep at me feet. Progress, yes?
Yep, progress. Imagine all of this from her perspective. I wouldn't be up to eating or exploring and definitely not interacting with a stranger. Hope your night goes okay. Tomorrow's a whole new day! :eek: GOOD LUCK!
 
#10 ·
Welcome to the forum! You have received great advice. Don't worry - everything will get better. It's her first day, and she's scared and overwhelmed (and like you said traumatized by the car ride). Just giver her time, and it will all get better. We'll all be here to help so let us know how she's doing.
Gina
 
#12 ·
Welcome to Maggie and her mom! I remember when we brought Mickey home, he went straight into his crate and wouldn't come out. But by the next day, he was sticking his nose out, then sniffing everything, then running around the house in typical Hav style. Maggie sounds like a beautiful girl. Just be calm and patient and you'll have a new best friend before you know it! Keep us up to date!
 
#15 ·
Good morning, all. Well, this morning she ate all her food.

Since she will not be led by leash, I pick her up and take her outside. This morning I tried something different. I opened the kitchen door as well as the porch door to the outside. I left her by her bowls and went into the livingroom to pick up my knitting. After about 15 minutes, I looked and she was outside. Yay, she CAN walk after all. I went out into the yard on about 30 feet away and pulled weeds, watching her out of the corner of my eye. She peed. Yay, again.

Since the grass is all dewey, I picked her up and brought her in and wiped her feet and legs. All that time she shook. So, I parked her on a thick towel by her bowls in the kitchen and am now in another room.

It feels like it could be a loooong wait before she comes to me.
 
#16 ·
Welcome to the forum! It sounds like your situation is closer to dealing with a "rescue" dog than a well socialized dog from a breeder, so only time and patience will help. I think you are doing the right thing by giving her space and lots of love and hopefully she will come around to see that things aren't as scary as they may seem. The good thing is that we have many happy stories on this board where older dogs have come into someone's home and things worked out well. Depending on how she grew up, her personality may always be different than the other Havs you have seen, so try not to expect her to be a certain way. Were there a lot of other dogs at the breeder's house, too? She may feel somewhat lost and confused without all her canine buddies.

Photos, please!!

Alexa
 
#17 ·
Thanks for your post, Alexa. When I talked with the breeder, she said the dogs lived in a separate building with each dog having a warmed/cooled living space with a crate as well. Each dog could go at will out into a grassy pen.

On the website, she has pictures and names of her 3 pairs of Havanese, and 3 pairs of Silky Terriers. I have been looking at her website for over 5 months and so far, she has had only one upcoming Hav litter to report.

So, Maggie and I were back out in the yard when a big dog 2 houses away started barking. He could not be seen thru the wood fence. Each time the big dog barked, Maggie moved closed to me til she was sitting at my feet. I took advantage of that. The next time the dog barked, I headed for the 3 season porch. Maggie followed me!!

I will be patient as I think that was a big deal!
 
#18 ·
I am glad Alexa posted that too, I was afraid to mention it. But it does sound like you took her out of a situation. In no time she is going to be counting her lucky stars that you found her. And she is going to get to be a happy hav. It may take time and patience, but I have heard the unconditional love of those that come from bad situations is unmatched. I am glad you found each other. I truly believe we find the dogs we were meant to own. My boys are hardly your average Havanese...Especially my first. But I have no doubt that Jasper in Cash were meant to be our dogs. And Maggie is meant to be your Neezer.
 
#20 ·
Well, Jammies, last night she fell asleep at my feet while I was on the computer. So I picked her up and woke her up and took her outside to pee. Then because I do not have a crate yet, I put her in the little dog bed a friend brought over for her. It was near me. I got up in the night and she was still there. Same this am. Not a peep out of her.

I do need a crate for her as I think she was used to that at night.
 
#21 ·
Oh my gosh. Maggie has a voice after all. She heard some dogs barking in the neighborhood somewhere and let out with bark, bark, baaaaarrrkkk. Not quite a howl but close. The Havanese next door has cute little short, happy barks only when she sees her favorite person, the mailman who gives her treat.

What does Maggie's almost howl mean?
 
#23 ·
Annie, shaking is exactly what she does when I come near her. Trying to keep a good distance is sometimes hard.

Well, after I brought her inside, she did do what I'd call a howl. Wonder if that means she's missing all she was familiar with?
 
#24 · (Edited)
sounds like you are making some progress already. Just take everything slow ,until you gain her trust. A trainer would be a big help. But here is a good article for you for adopting an older dog. http://www.dogstardaily.com/training/adopting-adult-dog Do all you feeding by hand ,get rid of the food bowl for now.
 
#25 ·
First, :welcome: to the forum!

Maggie may be missing her fur pals a little, but she could also just be vocalizing with the nearby dogs. Either way, she seems to be loosening up a bit and that's a good thing!

If you're able, try sitting on the floor with her in the room. Pretend to ignore her while watching TV or reading a book, something quiet and still. See if she works her way to you. If she does, gently place a treat down for her and praise her quietly. Keep doing this throughout the day/evening and see if she doesn't come to you a little quicker. Placing yourself on the floor makes you 'smaller' and less intimidating.

Definitely don't let her have free run of the house yet. It's too easy for her to make a mistake and potty indoors, and you don't want to set her up to fail.

Good luck and take heart! Pepper came to us at about a year old. He was so nervous that for the first three days he pretty much hid under one of my end tables whenever I had him loose in the room with me. It took about a week for him to really start coming out of his shell and now, two years later, he's the boss of the pack! Your Maggie will get there with love and patience.
 
#26 ·
Sounds like you are doing fine with Maggie. Just be really patient. We got both of our girls as older pups. It takes a while for them to adjust, but it does happen. She's already finding out that your house is very different from where she was before, and that is a good thing!
 
#27 ·
I was happy to read that Maggie is making progress! I wanted to comment on the "howl" that you described. The two I have now are the only Hav's I have been exposed to, and my boy Mickey has never howled. But that is the girl Maddy's preferred method of letting us know that she wants attention. Her little nose goes up into the air and she just howls like a wolf. Of course her little voice doesn't count for much, and we have come to love that squeaky howl. I hope this is a good sign for Maggie!
 
#28 ·
Bethaney, Maggies's nose goes straight up and her head goes back and her howl is healthy, let me say. The reason the breeder sold her is that she would not allow herself to be bred, I was told. Maybe the reason for her loud howl is she has too much testosterone for a girl dog. lol
 
#744 · (Edited)
I haven't read the whole trend but just wanted to let you know that temperament is also a big part of choosing a good breading bitch. And from some short statements about a separate building it does sound like you are dealing with a rescue. I'm sorry I haven't the time right now to read the whole trend but from what I have been reading I think you are doing a good job with her. I have no idea why you are thinking of re homing her. I will try and catch up to help support what ever you decide:grouphug: A weird twist: I think she was a very smart Havanese to roll over and not allow breeding. It bought her her freedom !
 
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