I don't disagree with most of what you have said, Popi. And I CERTAINLY understand your situation when you got Ricky... It was exactly the same as mine (except in reverse... Dave was the one who didn't want a dog... and Kodi was much better trained, even though he was much younger!) Dave had had a number of very bad experiences with (large, not-controlled) dogs in his youth, first watching as two neighbor GSD's tore his beloved cat to pieces in front of him, then working as a mailman during college, at a time when it was still common to leave dogs roaming, unattended all day long. He was "treed" on top of his truck by big, mean, dogs, too many times. He was SURE that if we brought a dog into the house, it would hurt our cat, Snowbelle, even though I explained that the dog would never be much bigger than the cat, and the cat had much nastier "weapons" than the puppy would!
That was one reason I fell for Kodi, rather than taking the other puppy, that Pam thought would be a better performance prospect. (though we all know how Kodi has done on that front!
) Pam and I had talked over Dave's reluctance to get a dog, and she knew that _I_ was 100% committed to making it work, just as you were. And like you, I did EVERYTHING I could to smooth the transition. Dave had absolutely NO responsibility for the puppy in the beginning. I got up with him every, single, time it was needed. I walked him every day, usually without Dave. If I had to be away on business, even over the weekend when Dave would be home, I found in-home boarding with a trainer friend for Kodi rather than ask Dave to take care of him. The list went on. I would have happily continued to do ALL of that indefinitely, if Dave hadn't warmed up to him. Fortunately, Dave found that his fears were groundless. The cat quickly trounced Kodi as a puppy, and that was the end of THAT! Kodi was relentlessly friendly and cheerful with everyone, including Dave, and never once bit the mailman.
Pretty soon, I saw Dave ASKING to learn how to feed him, walk him, etc.
I DON'T know whether things would have gone as smoothly with the other, drivier, more independent puppy. In the long run, I STILL would have made it work, but Kodi's charm, like Ricky's definitely helped. Those dogs will melt ANYONE'S heart! BUT, while this is the ideal Havanese temperament, MANY fall short of the ideal, and require a lot more work in terms of socialization. And if you get a puppy, you don't always know, for sure, what temperament they will have until MUCH later. All puppies are adorable, fluffy and cute.
My disagreement was not with anything you said. It was with the OP's comment about the safety net of giving the dog back. I specifically stated in my post that we all know things can happen. Family circumstances change, a family member can get dreadfully ill or even die. Financial circumstance can lead to HAVING to choose between an apartment that doesn't allow pets or having the family be homeless. BUT I STILL think NO ONE should go into dog ownership, and especially young puppy ownership with the idea that, "If it doesn't work out, we can send it back". You were committed in spite of a luke-cold wife, I was committed in spite of a luke-cold husband. I would just like to hear that kind of commitment from the OP, and that INCLUDES doing the work to get his wife ready for this endeavor. (and, quite frankly, it ALSO depends on whether the OP is home during the day to deal with the puppy. If not, even if the wife is a SAH mom, he should strongly consider a back-up plan for day care if the wife can't handle the puppy while he's not home. I know he has a daughter, but no one should
count on a child for reliable animal care.
Bottom line is, IMO, the OP's INTENT should be 100% commitment to a dog or puppy that he brings into the house, and since he has a wife who is not keen on the idea, he has to look at care arrangements as if he is a sole care provider for this puppy. HOPEFULLY the wife will become as smitten with the pup as Dave and your wife have become with our dog(s). (who would have guessed we'd go from "the dog hater" to this?
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