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post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-01-2011, 10:16 PM Thread Starter
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need some help

Hi, I'm writing in the hopes there might be some proven data about keeping a pair of dogs that have been together since pups living in the same home. Ive noticed on some of the rescue sites some dogs go as a pair. I'm trying to keep the sisters together and almost feel like I need to kid nap Maddie. I don't have the money to battle it in court so I would have to represent myself. She was originally a gift to me . So if anyone can help some how I would really appreciate it.
My Sweet Maddie last Christmas
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Maddie at 5mo old
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post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-01-2011, 11:07 PM
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Oh dear. I'm sorry that you're going through this. I don't have any suggestions but will send good thoughts your way.

Donnie, Momo and Ume's mom and loving it!



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post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-01-2011, 11:20 PM
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I'm so sorry you're still going through all this. I had hoped things might have gotten better. I wish I had a solution for you but if they have any attorney numbers out there for people who give free consultations, I'd try to get some legal advice. I've got fingers crossed that you find the answer that works for you and for the girls.

Sending prayers in your direction.

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post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-02-2011, 09:40 AM
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Is there a free legal office around you? I"m pretty sure you can file petitions without an attorney, you should go to the courthouse and talk to someone, see if there is something you can do.

Sorry you are going through this

Kara
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post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-02-2011, 10:00 AM
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I think it is time for you to contact a domestic violence social service agency; every state has them and they have many services attached to them, including legal services. These agencies are typically listed under local or state government listings. I would not hesitate to call. Here locally, our domestic violence program includes safe houses, job training, legal services, counseling etc.

Also, it is well documented in research that abusers will often use pets as a form of control--a way to keep the victim with the abuser or another way to hurt the victim (like in your case). The dog in question was a gift to you therefore it is yours; your perpetrator is trying to inflict emotional injury on you by threatening to take your dog.

Really, you need to call a domestic violence hotline or program. You need to come up with a safety plan for you and your dogs and you will need to most likely flee to a safe house. This is just IMHO but also I work in an adjunct agency that works closely with domestic violence agencies so I have some experience in this.

http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/

If you cannot find your local agency, the above may be able to help you.

And it may be good for you to research, and print out, articles about abusers who use pets to control or hurt their victims; the research is out there and this is what is happening to you and you can back it up with the research studies.

Last edited by andra; 12-02-2011 at 10:10 AM. Reason: more to say
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post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-02-2011, 11:42 AM
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Suzi I agree with Andra. Even small towns have agencies that will take your case and besides if the dog was a gift, it is yours. Course proving that is the issue. I would be out of there so fast, with my dogs and whatever I could carry. Let him bring suit against you. Probably when he finds out how much lawyers cost, he will forget about suing for the dog.
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post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-02-2011, 01:28 PM
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Suzi, I am a lawyer. If the puppy was a gift, she is yours. That's the law.

But, I sense your concerns about getting into a big mess about this, especially when that mess can be expensive. The best thing to do is talk to him (if that's possible) and try to reach an agreement. Possibilities: buy him out of half the puppy, help him find another puppy, or set up visitation (he'll quit visiting after a while). If there are concerns about telling him you're leaving, then you need to scoop up the puppies and get out when you safely can. It's much harder to get custody of something that you don't have -- so, you need to assert custody by taking them. Private message me, if you want.
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post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-02-2011, 02:02 PM Thread Starter
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That is all good advice. I like the idea of safe house and job training. My brother in law is a retired attorney so I do have free legal advice and he says the same about her being a gift to me. I was hoping to get some writen statements about havanese being companion dogs and how it would be better if they stay together. This whole mess has left me a bit blue although I'm trying hard to keep my head up and move forward. I am learning what not to pick next time Its fun to watch this video because Zoey still is the toy hog!
First week together

Maddie at 5mo old
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post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-02-2011, 02:08 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by andra View Post
I think it is time for you to contact a domestic violence social service agency; every state has them and they have many services attached to them, including legal services. These agencies are typically listed under local or state government listings. I would not hesitate to call. Here locally, our domestic violence program includes safe houses, job training, legal services, counseling etc.

Also, it is well documented in research that abusers will often use pets as a form of control--a way to keep the victim with the abuser or another way to hurt the victim (like in your case). The dog in question was a gift to you therefore it is yours; your perpetrator is trying to inflict emotional injury on you by threatening to take your dog.

Really, you need to call a domestic violence hotline or program. You need to come up with a safety plan for you and your dogs and you will need to most likely flee to a safe house. This is just IMHO but also I work in an adjunct agency that works closely with domestic violence agencies so I have some experience in this.

http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/

If you cannot find your local agency, the above may be able to help you.

And it may be good for you to research, and print out, articles about abusers who use pets to control or hurt their victims; the research is out there and this is what is happening to you and you can back it up with the research studies.


Good idea thanks!

Maddie at 5mo old
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post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-02-2011, 02:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
Hi, I'm writing in the hopes there might be some proven data about keeping a pair of dogs that have been together since pups living in the same home. Ive noticed on some of the rescue sites some dogs go as a pair. I'm trying to keep the sisters together and almost feel like I need to kid nap Maddie. I don't have the money to battle it in court so I would have to represent myself. She was originally a gift to me . So if anyone can help some how I would really appreciate it.
My Sweet Maddie last Christmas
This sounds like a terrible thing to go through My heart really goes out to you. I agree, if the dog leaves your possession then it's a lot harder to fight. I hope this all works out for you and your baby.

Jan
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