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post #1 of 37 (permalink) Old 11-12-2009, 10:14 AM Thread Starter
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Shared Pup Custody?

So, I know I'm probably acting a little crazy and over-preparing way too far in advance - but my boyfriend and I were talking the other day about our future pup. Although we've been in a stable relationship for over six years now and plan on being together for a good long time, I was wondering what would happen to our pup if we broke up.

Have any of you experienced a situation like this? What did you do? Is it hard on the pup to live with shared custody (one week at my place, one week at his, or other variation)? What if both people are equally committed to the dog and don't want to give him/her up?
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post #2 of 37 (permalink) Old 11-12-2009, 11:01 AM
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Hmmmmmm... Ok, I love my husband and we will be together forever so no problemo right? But the dogs are all in my name. I do the training, the bathing, the brushing, the research and poop clean-up. They are my dogs and I will have them always.

Have you ever been divorced? I have and once you've been there you tend to think ahead just a bit.

Hmmm now about this guy of yours? Together 6 years? Is there a ring in the future you think? Sorry, I'm being nosy, but curious anyways lol!
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post #3 of 37 (permalink) Old 11-12-2009, 11:24 AM
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That's a tough one. Even though both of you might start out with the best of intentions, it could get messy. What happens when new boyfriends and girlfriends and future children come into the picture? What if one of you wants to move far away from the other for whatever reason? Who does most of the basic care of the dog (ie: feeding, grooming, vet visits, etc?) If the dog is used to your current house and you or your boyfriend moves into a new one, that's an adjustment for the dog and there might be problems like potty training regression, etc. I think sharing custody of a dog would bring all kinds of headaches that sharing custody of a child wouldn't. I know I read about it sometimes and there are probably people making it work so I guess it would depend on how committed you'd both be to making it work.

Susan

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post #4 of 37 (permalink) Old 11-12-2009, 12:44 PM Thread Starter
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Have you ever been divorced? I have and once you've been there you tend to think ahead just a bit.

Hmmm now about this guy of yours? Together 6 years? Is there a ring in the future you think? Sorry, I'm being nosy, but curious anyways lol!
No, I've never been divorced but I would imagine it's not fun. As for that ring on my finger... it's a bit of a unique situation ha ha (isn't it always?) We have been together for six years, but we're only 21 years old. We've been best friends since we were 12, then we started dating at age 15. We've been living together since we were 18, and although our relationship has been amazing throughout the years, we think it's probably best to grow into ourselves a bit more before we make the whole marriage commitment. We've both changed a lot over the past six years, thankfully in ways that were complimentary to each other. We just want to make sure that we have a good idea of who we want to be as individuals before we decide to go permanent as a union. I just think that so many people get married too hastily, for the wrong reasons or without really knowing their partner. Why rush it when you have all the time in the world to make one of the most important decisions of your life? Ha, well there's my rant of the day...
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post #5 of 37 (permalink) Old 11-12-2009, 12:49 PM
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No, I've never been divorced but I would imagine it's not fun. As for that ring on my finger... it's a bit of a unique situation ha ha (isn't it always?) We have been together for six years, but we're only 21 years old. We've been best friends since we were 12, then we started dating at age 15. We've been living together since we were 18, and although our relationship has been amazing throughout the years, we think it's probably best to grow into ourselves a bit more before we make the whole marriage commitment. We've both changed a lot over the past six years, thankfully in ways that were complimentary to each other. We just want to make sure that we have a good idea of who we want to be as individuals before we decide to go permanent as a union. I just think that so many people get married too hastily, for the wrong reasons or without really knowing their partner. Why rush it when you have all the time in the world to make one of the most important decisions of your life? Ha, well there's my rant of the day...
Nope, not a rant at all! Some very good thoughts and I can only hope my own children will make choices as wisely as you!
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post #6 of 37 (permalink) Old 11-12-2009, 12:49 PM Thread Starter
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That's a tough one. Even though both of you might start out with the best of intentions, it could get messy. What happens when new boyfriends and girlfriends and future children come into the picture? What if one of you wants to move far away from the other for whatever reason? Who does most of the basic care of the dog (ie: feeding, grooming, vet visits, etc?) If the dog is used to your current house and you or your boyfriend moves into a new one, that's an adjustment for the dog and there might be problems like potty training regression, etc. I think sharing custody of a dog would bring all kinds of headaches that sharing custody of a child wouldn't. I know I read about it sometimes and there are probably people making it work so I guess it would depend on how committed you'd both be to making it work.
Good advice. I suppose we'll just have to let this be one of those things that pans out on its own. I can't imagine either one of us staying in the same house if we split up, but I would guess that moving once would be easier on a dog than moving back and forth all the time. I'm sure that one of us will naturally pick up the majority of care and attachment to the dog. It's just that I know that both of us will be heavily committed, and it would break my heart to have to give the dog up - or make him give the dog up. Oh well, hopefully it will be amicable if we ever DO split and we can just do visitation dates lol. Well, more hopefully we just won't break up
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post #7 of 37 (permalink) Old 11-12-2009, 12:55 PM Thread Starter
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Nope, not a rant at all! Some very good thoughts and I can only hope my own children will make choices as wisely as you!
Awww, well thank you. I know that having a furbaby will be almost just like having a child... but at least I won't have to deal with dating issues!
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post #8 of 37 (permalink) Old 11-12-2009, 12:58 PM
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Put the dog in your name! You will be doing all the grooming/training...etc.,

Once that baby comes in the house, you will never give him up!



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post #9 of 37 (permalink) Old 11-12-2009, 01:26 PM
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You're welcome!
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post #10 of 37 (permalink) Old 11-12-2009, 01:27 PM
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Well first in the eyes of the law pets are property. Also, I think you might want to think about your situation. Just by you posting this on a public forum makes me thing you are unsure of your future and maybe right now isn't a good time for you to add a furchild. Maybe you can puppy sit or go to a playdate until you are more stable to add your own. While I think dogs live in the moment, they do best when they have stability and routines in their lives.

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