Looking for advise : DW not used/little scared of dogs - Havanese Forum : Havanese Forums
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post #1 of 29 (permalink) Old 01-04-2017, 09:40 AM Thread Starter
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Looking for advise : DW not used/little scared of dogs

Long story short, I LOVE dogs and cats and so do my 9 yr daughter, but my DW never had a pet in her family or close relatives/friends. As a result while she likes an idea of a dog, she is also scared specially by their active movements. As I mentioned in other threads she is okay to get a dog with a hope that she will get acustomed to it.

As I mentioned on my other thread, wee are planning to get a Havanese pup in next few months (based on when I find a good breeder/pup) but I am bit worried how she will cope up. So looking for some advise if anyone has experience/ideas on how to handle the situation

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post #2 of 29 (permalink) Old 01-04-2017, 10:04 AM
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Before getting your own dog I think she needs to start spending some time with people you know that have dogs. You don't want to get in a situation where you have to rehome your puppy because she is too anxious around it. The dog will also pick up on her anxiety. She needs to see if she is ok with being approached by a dog, licked by a dog, have a little dog jump up on her leg or lap. She may also be alone with the dog at times and need to put a leash on it and take it out. Personally, I wouldn't bring a dog into my home if it was going to scare someone. See if she can become more comfortable with dogs in general first. Good luck.



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post #3 of 29 (permalink) Old 01-04-2017, 12:25 PM Thread Starter
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I know what you mean and trust me we would not have thought of bringing in a pup if she was that scared. She likes and really want to cuddle and play with dog but is relatively scared. So I am convincing myself that its a catch 22 viz unless she is used to dog don't get a dog, don't get a dog she won't be used to dog and she will eventually love the experience. But I really need some reality check feedback like yours to evaluate if my approach is worth it

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Before getting your own dog I think she needs to start spending some time with people you know that have dogs. You don't want to get in a situation where you have to rehome your puppy because she is too anxious around it. The dog will also pick up on her anxiety. She needs to see if she is ok with being approached by a dog, licked by a dog, have a little dog jump up on her leg or lap. She may also be alone with the dog at times and need to put a leash on it and take it out. Personally, I wouldn't bring a dog into my home if it was going to scare someone. See if she can become more comfortable with dogs in general first. Good luck.

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post #4 of 29 (permalink) Old 01-04-2017, 02:37 PM
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I know what you mean and trust me we would not have thought of bringing in a pup if she was that scared. She likes and really want to cuddle and play with dog but is relatively scared. So I am convincing myself that its a catch 22 viz unless she is used to dog don't get a dog, don't get a dog she won't be used to dog and she will eventually love the experience. But I really need some reality check feedback like yours to evaluate if my approach is worth it
In your situation, I would REALLY advise looking for a calm, well mannered adult dog rather than a wild-child puppy. (and almost ALL healthy puppies are for their first year!) It is not uncommon for breeders to run dog on for a while, decide it is not going to be a good fit for their breeding goals, and sell them as young adults. They also sometimes have adult breeders who have had a few litters, and then desire a special home all their own. With option can work out very well.


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post #5 of 29 (permalink) Old 01-05-2017, 10:58 AM
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I tend to agree with Krandall about getting a mild-mannered adult dog would be wisest, but there are advantages to getting a puppy too. There is an old saying about cats that says something like 'no one ever decided they wanted a cat, but many have been smitten by a kitten'. Puppies are cute, and Havanese puppies are the cutest of the cute. While getting an adult dog may be wisest, getting a cute little ball of fluff may be a faster way to steal her heart!

One way to ease her fear is to have her read up on dog behavior. When your wife understands how dogs think, she will be better able to control one, and we are less afraid of creatures we can control. It's a very rewarding feeling to say, "lay down" and have a dog comply; plus, it's a great bonding experience to train a dog, whether simple tricks like 'shake hands' or formal obedience maneuvers like 'heel'.

Another thing to remember is that if you use an ex-pen to contain him in the house (which I strongly suggest), the puppy will have his own little territory and you will have yours. It's like a playpen for a baby: you will control everything he has and everywhere he goes (and this will continue for several months until he is a dependable member of the household). You will take him out of it for short periods several times a day, when you'll be focused on him so he can't get into too much trouble. That kind of control is not only good for your wife's stress level, it's good for the puppy too. There are many reasons why which you can read about when you read up on doggie behavior!

Good luck! I really hope you guys can work it out because I'm a big believer that dogs make people's lives richer and better. Here's an article that was recommended to me once: How the Dog Became the Master - The New Yorker


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post #6 of 29 (permalink) Old 01-05-2017, 01:21 PM
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I tend to agree with Krandall about getting a mild-mannered adult dog would be wisest, but there are advantages to getting a puppy too. There is an old saying about cats that says something like 'no one ever decided they wanted a cat, but many have been smitten by a kitten'. Puppies are cute, and Havanese puppies are the cutest of the cute. While getting an adult dog may be wisest, getting a cute little ball of fluff may be a faster way to steal her heart!

One way to ease her fear is to have her read up on dog behavior. When your wife understands how dogs think, she will be better able to control one, and we are less afraid of creatures we can control. It's a very rewarding feeling to say, "lay down" and have a dog comply; plus, it's a great bonding experience to train a dog, whether simple tricks like 'shake hands' or formal obedience maneuvers like 'heel'.

Another thing to remember is that if you use an ex-pen to contain him in the house (which I strongly suggest), the puppy will have his own little territory and you will have yours. It's like a playpen for a baby: you will control everything he has and everywhere he goes (and this will continue for several months until he is a dependable member of the household). You will take him out of it for short periods several times a day, when you'll be focused on him so he can't get into too much trouble. That kind of control is not only good for your wife's stress level, it's good for the puppy too. There are many reasons why which you can read about when you read up on doggie behavior!

Good luck! I really hope you guys can work it out because I'm a big believer that dogs make people's lives richer and better. Here's an article that was recommended to me once: How the Dog Became the Master - The New Yorker
The only problem with this is that Havanese puppies, when they first come home are SO adorable, and often quite quiet and biddable. I'm afraid when it started to become an adolescent, and push the boundaries, she might find that new, pushier, wilder behavior (which with MANY puppies includes some nipping or at least mouthing) frightening. If she acts that way, the puppy is likely to get pushier, and it can become a vicious circle.
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post #7 of 29 (permalink) Old 01-05-2017, 01:42 PM
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Tweety, is there a dog training class - "kids & dogs" nearby at all? This would be a great class to take now even though you don't have a dog. The other thought is hire a certified dog trainer that is willing to work with you and your daughter now with her own dog - or just sign up for a puppies training class. Even though you don't have a dog - this may be well worth the time and money now - to have your daughter interact within a controlled environment. It would be important, I think, to have your daughter get accustomed and exposed now as opposed to later when you get the dog. Otherwise, the concern is there'll be anxiety, etc. in the home while you're trying to create a strong bond/relationship with the dog. And I agree with Krandall - puppies, then adolescent - the relationship could go south and end up in a vicious, frustrating cycle for the whole household. Just thoughts - best of luck.
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post #8 of 29 (permalink) Old 01-05-2017, 01:43 PM
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Absolutely loved the article. Thanks for sharing!
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post #9 of 29 (permalink) Old 01-05-2017, 03:27 PM
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The only problem with this is that Havanese puppies, when they first come home are SO adorable, and often quite quiet and biddable. I'm afraid when it started to become an adolescent, and push the boundaries, she might find that new, pushier, wilder behavior (which with MANY puppies includes some nipping or at least mouthing) frightening. If she acts that way, the puppy is likely to get pushier, and it can become a vicious circle.
I would trust this advice, Tweety, as I have never raised a Havanese to adulthood. Mine is still a puppy. If your DW is tentative, getting a young adult may be the best option. The dog will still be very open to training, but will have worked some of the hyperactive puppy frenzy out of its system. And if you are worried about it bonding to your family at that age, don't be...a dog that has successfully bonded with a family once will easily successfully bond to another family. Either way, let us know how it goes!


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post #10 of 29 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 02:54 PM
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Puppies can be overwhelming, even for the most experienced dog owners. Puppies are a tremendous amount of work. They are not appropriate for a person who is apprehensive about dogs.

I am going to agree that a young adult is going to be the best choice for Tweety. This would be a dog about 3 years old or more. The dog will be house broken, personality will be established and recognized, and size will be determined. Many breeders will have adults that are no longer viable for their breeding stock for one reason or another. A good breeder will sell you the dog with a contract stating they will take the dog back within a specified period of time if the relocation doesn't work out.

Tweety, you will know whether your wife can adapt or not after about a month with a dog in your home. If it doesn't work out, the dog goes back to the breeder and you will get your money back. There will always be a waiting list for these kinds of dogs, so the dog will find a good home if not yours.

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