Am I expecting too much or is this the beginning of separation anxiety? - Havanese Forum : Havanese Forums
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-01-2018, 01:38 AM Thread Starter
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Am I expecting too much or is this the beginning of separation anxiety?

So, My lil Lexi is just over 8 weeks old and has only been home three days. I have her expen in my living room as it's where I spend the most time. I have in it her crate, a bed, and potty tray. I have a blanket covering the crate (everything but the door). During the day she sometimes sleeps in the crate but more often on the floor of the pen. When she's not sleeping I mostly play with her and work at training some basic things. She's gone into the pen a couple of times on her own to sleep when she's tuckered out, but a couple of times I've put her in there and she cried and howled to be let back out. Once, I ignored her crying and came in and out of the room so she'd see I hadn't abandoned her and she eventually stopped when I was out of the room, so then I went back in and let her out. Another time she didn't stop though and I waited for a beat of quiet before releasing her as I was worried about her amping herself up as she seemed to be getting more and more upset. Should I expect her to usually cry to be let out if I try to confine her? after all, I'm her only playmate now and she's only been here three days, and she IS just a baby, or am I doing some things wrong. Is there anything wrong with my set up or approach?

(So far I can't seem to distract her in her pen with a stuffed Kong. She has a rubber "flavoured" chew toy, No bully sticks though.)

Last edited by jay_39; 04-01-2018 at 07:53 AM.
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-01-2018, 02:14 AM
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Ok, so the first thing you need to do is stop, sit down and take a deep breath. It is great that you have done so much research, but the bottom line is that Lexi didn't. You are a new puppy parent with a baby that is doing what comes naturally. She is going to pick up on what your expectations are, but it is going to happen slowly. It is natural for her to cry when she is put in her pen, it is natural for you to feel bad. The thing is she is going to have to learn that is her place to be sometimes. You are going to go through a period where she will drive you crazy with the crying and every time you cave in she learns crying gets her out of the pen. You have only had her 3 days and it truly is a marathon not a sprint. Do what you have learned in your research and don't expect perfection it is going to take time. If you get yourself upset and worry when things don't go according to plan you will be in a constant state of stress. It is hard, frustrating and exhausting, it is also funny, exciting and a total love affair. Above all else don't overthink and try to go with the flow. Enjoy this baby, she won't be a baby for long. You will do great, we all have been through it and we all made it and so did our pups.







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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-01-2018, 05:16 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Ollie"s Mom View Post
Ok, so the first thing you need to do is stop, sit down and take a deep breath. It is great that you have done so much research, but the bottom line is that Lexi didn't. You are a new puppy parent with a baby that is doing what comes naturally. She is going to pick up on what your expectations are, but it is going to happen slowly. It is natural for her to cry when she is put in her pen, it is natural for you to feel bad. The thing is she is going to have to learn that is her place to be sometimes. You are going to go through a period where she will drive you crazy with the crying and every time you cave in she learns crying gets her out of the pen. You have only had her 3 days and it truly is a marathon not a sprint. Do what you have learned in your research and don't expect perfection it is going to take time. If you get yourself upset and worry when things don't go according to plan you will be in a constant state of stress. It is hard, frustrating and exhausting, it is also funny, exciting and a total love affair. Above all else don't overthink and try to go with the flow. Enjoy this baby, she won't be a baby for long. You will do great, we all have been through it and we all made it and so did our pups.
Thank you so much, Ollie's Mom. It was just what I needed to hear! I'm relieved to know I'm not doing something "wrong" with her--she is a precious pup. And thank you for the words of encouragement. I'm very grateful for this forum.
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-01-2018, 07:01 AM
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I would think that the best time to try and train being alone is when she is already calm and a bit tuckered out, not when she wants to play. However, I would train getting her to settle in the crate with you there first before trying to move on to confinement and leaving her.
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-01-2018, 07:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Ollie"s Mom View Post
Ok, so the first thing you need to do is stop, sit down and take a deep breath. It is great that you have done so much research, but the bottom line is that Lexi didn't. You are a new puppy parent with a baby that is doing what comes naturally. She is going to pick up on what your expectations are, but it is going to happen slowly. It is natural for her to cry when she is put in her pen, it is natural for you to feel bad. The thing is she is going to have to learn that is her place to be sometimes. You are going to go through a period where she will drive you crazy with the crying and every time you cave in she learns crying gets her out of the pen. You have only had her 3 days and it truly is a marathon not a sprint. Do what you have learned in your research and don't expect perfection it is going to take time. If you get yourself upset and worry when things don't go according to plan you will be in a constant state of stress. It is hard, frustrating and exhausting, it is also funny, exciting and a total love affair. Above all else don't overthink and try to go with the flow. Enjoy this baby, she won't be a baby for long. You will do great, we all have been through it and we all made it and so did our pups.
I wish I could “like” this 10 times!!!

I know how hard it is not toget anxious about doing everything “right”. But unfortunately, dogs (even puppies) pick up on our anxiety REALLY easily. So the more relaxed YOU can stay, the faster SHE will relax and settle in.


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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-01-2018, 08:02 AM Thread Starter
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I wish I could “like” this 10 times!!!

I know how hard it is not toget anxious about doing everything “right”. But unfortunately, dogs (even puppies) pick up on our anxiety REALLY easily. So the more relaxed YOU can stay, the faster SHE will relax and settle in.
Thank you for that! It's good advice and much appreciated. I'm going to just chill myself out then
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-01-2018, 09:37 AM
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Sweet talk and attention (i.e., looking at her, gentle strokes, etc.) when she's being quiet. Absence of attention (i.e., not looking at her, but not necessarily leaving the room) when she's not being quiet. If your stress is mounting, try to smile, and say, "This is a sweet puppy. This is a darling puppy. This is an adorable puppy."

Here's a kikopup video for you.


Looking forward to reading your "pupdates" in the forum!
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-01-2018, 10:34 AM Thread Starter
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Thank you so much for the advice and the link! Much appreciated 😄
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-01-2018, 11:32 AM
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:Looking forward to reading your "pupdates" in the forum!
pupdates
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 04-01-2018, 09:58 PM
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I just wanted to say I loved what Ollie's mom said, too. Puppyhood is an exciting, getting to know you time and you really do feel your heart melt.

You may also feel yourself on a roller coaster. this is why old timers used to tease smitten teenagers about puppy love, I reason.
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Last edited by Marni; 04-02-2018 at 07:53 AM.
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