Adding a Hav to our home with an already-fearful Hav? - Havanese Forum : Havanese Forums
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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-07-2011, 10:54 AM Thread Starter
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Adding a Hav to our home with an already-fearful Hav?

We got a male Havanese about a month ago (formerly Larry, now Scout). He is 9 months old. He definitely has fear issues. He is afraid of my husband and doesn't seem to be improving in that regard even though DH has been making every effort to befriend him. DH talks sweet to him, always bends down when speaking to him, gives him treats, puts him on his lap and pets him. Scout is still afraid of him and won't go to him. He runs away every time my husband calls to him. Scout is also afraid/skittish about other people and things. Example: The other night we ordered take-out and I placed the paper shopping bag of food on the kitchen counter. Scout was very hesitant about walking past the kitchen counter. He would look up at the bag and SLOWLY and cautiously walk past the counter. He seems to be afraid of his own shadow. When we met Scout at the breeder's house, surrounded by several other dogs, he seemed fine. In fact, the breeder allowed us to bring Scout's litter-brother home with us on Saturday for a playdate. Scout was more playful. And whenever his brother ran to my husband to be petted, Scout would run over to be petted too (although still a little cautious). But he seemed more outgoing.

Now to the second part of the tale: I've always felt that Scout would do better with another dog. This is one of the reasons I arranged a play date with his brother. (And he did seem to do better.) I also spoke to someone on Friday who is trying to re-home her two female Havanese babies. (A thread about this is posted on this forum.) She won't consider our family because she says that adding another dog to our home while Scout is having fear issues would not be a good idea.

I'm really interested in getting other people's opinions on this. Especially anyone that has owned a fearful dog. Scout is not aggressive at all. He is very sweet. Would adding another dog to our home be a mistake, or would it benefit Scout?

Yolanda (Scout's mom)
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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-07-2011, 11:05 AM
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I have a female Chihuahua who is very fearful. She is 6 y/o. When we added Ache to our home it was a big challenge for her. She even got sick because she was sooo nervous. It took about 2-3 months for them to be friends and for my Chi to be comfortable with Ache. It can be done, of course, but it may take time, patience and even help from a trainer. (in my case I have one who came home and help me with it)
I can say that having Ache in our home has benefit my Chihuahua so all the hard work was worth it. Good luck.


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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-07-2011, 11:11 AM
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I already owned Max, my outgoing Hav, when I got my rescue Cooper. Max has had a positive influence on Cooper, but I don't think Cooper will ever be as outgoing with strangers. I know for sure that Cooper's shyness has not had ANY affect on Max and his fun-loving nature.

Janan


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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-07-2011, 12:03 PM
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You need to address some of your puppies issues first before adding another dog. Sometimes an out going dog can benefit a shy dog but, you need to have worked with your dog. It often takes time for a dog on the shy side to warm up to men. Also how long it takes a shy dog to warm up to family members often has to do with your over all experience with dogs that have issues. Before adding another dog and this is just my suggestion you should try to be at the point where your dog excepts your husband. What can happen is you get another dog and it is out going and it makes your shy dog's life hell, also a new dog coming in to your home may seem confident and end up being shy, then both dogs will feed each others fears. You really need to build confidence in the home for your shy dog, this way you will set him up of success.

My Hav Yogi was a rescue and it took him about 3 months for him to warm up to my husband and another 6 not to shy away and bark at people coming into the house. I already had two very calm well mannered dogs. Today if you met Yogi he is so out going. We did add another calm Hav after 1.5 yrs. she is shy and probably will always be a bit shy, however after 6 months in the house she is confident, goes up to vistors and will set by them. She is not this way out of the home but she is in class's I had her enrolledf before I brought her home. Today she will heal with confidence and is very good in obedience yet she will probably never like strangers petting her, she is learning to tolerate it.

Getting a another dog can be a benefit, it is not a quick fix. It just takes time and I do know that is really hard to deal with. I know it is heartbreaking every time your shy dog rejects your DH, it's not really a personal rejection and we sooo want to fix it, now. It just takes time and your pup needs some confidence.

Robbie, Boo Boo, Yogi, and Misty's human.
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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-07-2011, 01:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Culleny View Post
We got a male Havanese about a month ago (formerly Larry, now Scout). He is 9 months old. He definitely has fear issues. He is afraid of my husband and doesn't seem to be improving in that regard even though DH has been making every effort to befriend him. DH talks sweet to him, always bends down when speaking to him, gives him treats, puts him on his lap and pets him. Scout is still afraid of him and won't go to him. He runs away every time my husband calls to him. Scout is also afraid/skittish about other people and things. Example: The other night we ordered take-out and I placed the paper shopping bag of food on the kitchen counter. Scout was very hesitant about walking past the kitchen counter. He would look up at the bag and SLOWLY and cautiously walk past the counter. He seems to be afraid of his own shadow. When we met Scout at the breeder's house, surrounded by several other dogs, he seemed fine. In fact, the breeder allowed us to bring Scout's litter-brother home with us on Saturday for a playdate. Scout was more playful. And whenever his brother ran to my husband to be petted, Scout would run over to be petted too (although still a little cautious). But he seemed more outgoing.

Now to the second part of the tale: I've always felt that Scout would do better with another dog. This is one of the reasons I arranged a play date with his brother. (And he did seem to do better.) I also spoke to someone on Friday who is trying to re-home her two female Havanese babies. (A thread about this is posted on this forum.) She won't consider our family because she says that adding another dog to our home while Scout is having fear issues would not be a good idea.

I'm really interested in getting other people's opinions on this. Especially anyone that has owned a fearful dog. Scout is not aggressive at all. He is very sweet. Would adding another dog to our home be a mistake, or would it benefit Scout?
WOW, I have a 9 month old who acts the same exact way. I too have thought about getting another little dog because when I fostered a little terrier mix for a few days they had a blast together. She plays with my golden but not as much as the little dog. I have done tons of research and hired a trainer. It is a very slow and depressing process, it takes lots of patience. My husband tries his best and have done what the trainer advised but she still growls and runs away. Right now I feel as though we are at a stand still, she is not progressing at all.


*Zoey & Diesel*
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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-07-2011, 01:39 PM
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Now to the second part of the tale: I've always felt that Scout would do better with another dog. This is one of the reasons I arranged a play date with his brother. (And he did seem to do better.) I also spoke to someone on Friday who is trying to re-home her two female Havanese babies. (A thread about this is posted on this forum.) She won't consider our family because she says that adding another dog to our home while Scout is having fear issues would not be a good idea.

I liked it when you said during the play date your scout went up to his HD Maybe that is a good way to have him gain his confidence.
whenever his brother ran to my husband to be petted, Scout would run over to be petted too (although still a little cautious). But he seemed more outgoing.
I think it is to bad the lady would not consider your family. Is their a way to have a visit with them.? Although I would love to see those two dogs stay together.

Maddie at 5mo old
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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-07-2011, 02:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Culleny View Post
We got a male Havanese about a month ago (formerly Larry, now Scout). He is 9 months old. He definitely has fear issues. He is afraid of my husband and doesn't seem to be improving in that regard even though DH has been making every effort to befriend him. DH talks sweet to him, always bends down when speaking to him, gives him treats, puts him on his lap and pets him. Scout is still afraid of him and won't go to him. He runs away every time my husband calls to him. Scout is also afraid/skittish about other people and things. Example: The other night we ordered take-out and I placed the paper shopping bag of food on the kitchen counter. Scout was very hesitant about walking past the kitchen counter. He would look up at the bag and SLOWLY and cautiously walk past the counter. He seems to be afraid of his own shadow. When we met Scout at the breeder's house, surrounded by several other dogs, he seemed fine. In fact, the breeder allowed us to bring Scout's litter-brother home with us on Saturday for a playdate. Scout was more playful. And whenever his brother ran to my husband to be petted, Scout would run over to be petted too (although still a little cautious). But he seemed more outgoing.

Now to the second part of the tale: I've always felt that Scout would do better with another dog. This is one of the reasons I arranged a play date with his brother. (And he did seem to do better.) I also spoke to someone on Friday who is trying to re-home her two female Havanese babies. (A thread about this is posted on this forum.) She won't consider our family because she says that adding another dog to our home while Scout is having fear issues would not be a good idea.

I'm really interested in getting other people's opinions on this. Especially anyone that has owned a fearful dog. Scout is not aggressive at all. He is very sweet. Would adding another dog to our home be a mistake, or would it benefit Scout?
Based upon your post that he was happier with the other Hav visiting I would try to add another to the family. Good luck. Linda

Linda & Sasha
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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-07-2011, 02:43 PM
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I will try be the voice of rational thinking again. Because a dog gets along with another dog and plays, does not will not fix the shy with people problem. It takes time and loads of patience.

If I were rehoming a beloved pet, I would not want that pet to go to a home where there was a dog that had not adjusted either. It would not be a personal rejection. Its just I would want the best for my dog. One month is not a lot of time. You really need to ask yourself are you really doing it for the dog, or are you trying to make yourself feel better with a new dog that will be more what you had in mind.

You really should give it some more time, each dog is different. There is no way to force a shy dog out of its shyness except time. Time and patience.

Robbie, Boo Boo, Yogi, and Misty's human.
Poohkey miss you, monkey.
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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-07-2011, 03:26 PM Thread Starter
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You really need to ask yourself are you really doing it for the dog, or are you trying to make yourself feel better with a new dog that will be more what you had in mind.
Honestly, I want the dog to be happy and comfortable. What would make me feel better is knowing my dog is happy and enjoying his home and family. It makes me sad to think that he feels sad or frightened. I've always felt that he looked lonely and sad; like he needs another puppymate. He does play with us, especially once he comes in from outside, so we know he can be playful. And he is truly an absolute sweetheart. I'm just really trying to figure how we can help him.

Yolanda (Scout's mom)
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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-07-2011, 03:43 PM
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Yolanda, a month is not too long for an older pup like Scout. We got Abby at 8 mos. and she was extremely shy and fearful. It has been a long road but she is so much better than she was. She wouldn't go to DH, either and was very afraid of him. She now loves us both but is still much more reserved than any dog we've ever had. She seems to be quite happy now and we have learned to accept her the way she is (even though she is not what we expected!). We have thought about bringing in another dog now that she is better but are still not convinced it would be best for our family dynamic.

It is a slow process but I'm sure in another month or two you will see real progress.

Kathie, Abby & McGee's Mom
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