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post #1 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-21-2007, 03:45 AM Thread Starter
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Too Much Attention

Hi All. Just wondering with everyone's busy lifestyle and the things that we are always doing for ourselves and work and family life do we find the time to dedicate to our Hav's.

I know that they are our family but when you come home from work if you have a significant other at home with the little hav how much time do you put aside to play with them, train them and just basically just let them be by themselves to lounge around and take evening naps?

Can you give a Hav too much attention....yeah I know dumb question but with the matter of separation anxiety and all that I can see a Hav getting over-attached and developing a fixation of sorts with their human families to the point where being alone for even an hour seems like agony for them and them freak out when you get home.

Radar won't even eat until we get home he's so distraught when we get home he goes completely mental.....

I think that the separation anxiety is a valid issue because it happens when we leave but sometimes it seems like it's a caused reaction to when we leave the house. If too much attention is given wouldn't the Hav get overly-attached or is that a natural puppy thing? I know they are basically like infants so I can see the attachment thing but to the point of not eating, well thats crazy talk.....

I think that Radar will probably outgrow his anxiety. He really goes nuts when I get hiome from work as well but I make him lay down before I pick him up. He gets the idea and then he gets picked up for Hav Kisses.

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post #2 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-21-2007, 06:04 AM
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The anxiety does get better. How old is Radar now? Gucci used to get SO excited to see me when I would come home after a few hours she would have little Pee pee accidents while trying to greet my (while I was trying to get her to "sit"!) But she is starting to know that I WILL come home and will sleep by the door.

I don't think there is "too much attention" you can give them She gets ALOT of attention from me, especially during the summer months I take OFF work for the most part and stay home with her.

Even though I have a big family, I'm alone alot...and its just me and her on many days, I like it that way! It is much better than me just being alone.

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post #3 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-21-2007, 06:08 AM Thread Starter
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Radar will be five months on the 08th of August. He's still very sad when we leave the house sometimes and like I mentioned, will not touch his food although that could be something entirely different. I'm sure he will outgrow it and I'm always glad to hear about the many Hav's who have outgrown the separation anxiety thing.


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post #4 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-21-2007, 06:59 AM
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Havee is pretty independent at times. He usually follows us around the house, but also will stay in the other room for quite a while playing on his own.

I'm glad for this since I work 3 days a week and need to leave him. He's 6 mos now and has settled down with his crazy greetings when we come in the door. Make sure you're not making a big deal of leaving and returning. We just say see you later, we'll be right back.

He's ALWAYS willing to go outside and play with us though, even if his eyes are closed and pretending to sleep!
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post #5 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-21-2007, 07:02 AM
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well,i have been dealing with separati anxiety since april, and we are on the mend, but boy, was it tough. and yes, i do believe you can give your dog too much attention. hugs and kisses are something they should want not expect. i learned this thru my research on SA. for a day or two, give him 15 minutes of lovin each hour, and no more. i know, it's very very hard but you will see a change in your dog almost immediately. with my pup it helped him learn to relax on his own, entertain himself, etc. and not rely on me for everything thus creating separation anxiety. the more confident a dog is, the less they are to feel anxious when you leave because they know they can take care of themselves while you are gone. training is key as well, anything, do sessions all day if you can. also, with SA, have a key word you use whenever you leave the house, use it all the time whether your taking the trash out or leaving. he will associate this word with you leaving and coming home. it takes time, but you must work on it and it does get better. our pup is confined to the kitchen, i believe dogs prefered smaller spaces especially if they are small. sometimes our homes are just too overwhelming for them.
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post #6 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-21-2007, 07:03 AM
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oh and another thing, when you come home, don't make a big deal about it. if your dog barks and jumps, ignor him until he stops once he stopes then give him lots of hugs. he will learn that he gets lovin when he is quiet and not noisy. agian,harder for us humans but it helps our pups in the long run
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post #7 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-21-2007, 07:04 AM
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My dogs don't usually eat when we aren't home. I think it goes back to their ingrained pack behavior. They eat with the family. I really try to not make a big fuss about coming home either. Dora is pretty easy going in nature but Belle is and can be a monster. She developed behaviors of jumping up and biting you when you were putting on shoes and getting ready. She would get really really upset. We werent making a big deal out of leaving but she knew. She also would bolt out the front door as soon as you opened it. She wouldn't run off but she wouldnt obey her house command. So what I found worked the best, is have her exhausted before I leave the house. We just went on really long morning walks. I am not a morning person either! About 3 mornings a week, we did 2 miles and she was too tired to jump and bite anymore. Now, we haven't been going so long but my husband has summers off where he works at home a lot. They still are insanely excited when I come home and yes, it makes me feel loved but I really give at least 15 minutes of time- change, put away stuff before I say hello... hard to do but good pay offs!

As to the evenings, they have lots of my attention but then we probably train an hour each night! At about 9pm, I let them settle down and get ready for bed and they will let you know if you are staying up too late!


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post #8 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-21-2007, 07:17 AM Thread Starter
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Yeah My Wife tells me I'm teasing Radar when I come home and ignore him when I just wait until he quits all the jumping and then I pick him up or wait until he's calmed down at least a bit. I even get him to sit before I give him food sometimes so he learns.

My Wife is not so eager to do this as she is always telling me " He's Puppy he should be allowed to.....Insert Phrase Here". I'm the "Bad Cop" most of the time anyway. My Wife couldn't care less about enforcing some of the rules that Radar should have. She always has her hands in his mouth and he bites down on her fingers although gently. He's gotten rough with her a few times but she corrects him, and I'm even surprised she does that.

I tell her that he can't be doing that becasue he's young and he'll learn bad behaviour. I think she doesn't really understand it until the negative effects of the behaviour fully come out in him and she'll wonder why he's doing it and stand there scratching her head wondering why is my puppy doing this meanwhile he's fully grown now and can bite alot harder and is now somewhat stuck in his ways and will be much harder to "Re-Train" later on. Oh well wait until he bites a small child and then My Wife wonders why he did it. It'll be a bitter pill to swallow.

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post #9 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-21-2007, 08:29 AM
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After only three days Oscar is crying when we leave the room and when I put him in his expen to rest and going crazy when we come back. Should I be correcting him already? One book I read said to give the pup a week to get acclimated first. Is that right? I don't want to spoil him either. Also we don't have much room in our bedroom, so the first two nights he slept in his ex-pen (made smaller for night) and we took turns sleeping on the floor next to him because he cried when he was alone. Then I read a book that said the dog should sleep in your bedroom because of the pack thing, in a crate, so that he knows he is with you. So last night I put him in a plastic crate and tried to get him settled down and he went totally crazy--really seemed panicky. He had never been in a crate before. I had left it out and open the past two days to see if he would get used to it, but obviously he didn't. So we ended up back in the ex-pen and sleeping on ght floor by him again and he did fine. Is that spoiling him?? And when can we both sleep in the bed again without him going crazy?? Does he really need to be in our bedroom?? I just don't know what to do!!!

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post #10 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-21-2007, 07:56 PM
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MDH does the same thing with Houston. Then when I am the bad cop and say no biting Houston lies down and gives me dirty looks.

We have not dealt with separation anxiety. TG. But I think it helped because I learned previously on this forum not to make a big fuss either when I leave or come back. I think that helped a lot.
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