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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-02-2011, 11:50 AM Thread Starter
Phoebe and Maxi's Mom
 
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A Funny

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food The other dishes are mine and contain my food.. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that it is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.. Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.

(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.

(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people..

(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

(1) eat less,

(2) don't ask for money all the time,

(3) are easier to train,

(4) normally come when called,

(5) never ask to drive the car,

(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;

(7) don't smoke or drink,

(8) don't want to wear your clothes,

(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,

(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and

(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.....(*_*)
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-02-2011, 12:05 PM
Gigi
 
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And they give you unconditional love,don't answer back,even get you to chat to friends from all over the world, about mainly doggy things!

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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-02-2011, 12:14 PM
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very cute! I may have to post that on my door,too.

Jocelyn, Mindy, Cocotini, and Candy


Truffles (1992-2009) We miss you!!
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-02-2011, 01:34 PM
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My Mom and Dad have that posted at their front door, but I think they have a longer version and it doesn't include that last part about the dogs and cats are better then kids....

Stacey, Yogi (Gerty), and Baby Boo
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-02-2011, 03:27 PM
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I love it..thanks for sharing!
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-02-2011, 03:46 PM
Evelyn
 
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that is so adorable!

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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-02-2011, 06:17 PM
Dave T
 
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good stuff.

Dave and Molly
Ian Dunbar was awarded the Outstanding Achievement Award from I.P.D.T.A. Here's a picture of me accepting the award on his behalf.
Member of IAABC ,International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants , Member of Pet Professional Guild
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-03-2011, 11:23 AM
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Thanks for a good laugh!
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-03-2011, 11:27 AM
Bessie & Max's Parents
 
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Love it!!!!!!
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