Need to vent (very long) - Havanese Forum : Havanese Forums
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-02-2012, 02:07 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
tokipoke's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 405
Submit Photo: 1
Photo Submissions 9 Times in 9 Posts
Need to vent (very long)

We (husband & dogs) visited my in-laws this past weekend for five days. The drive was 4-5 hours and both dogs did well. Louis just sleeps. He is good as long as he can lay in a confined space or in a lap. Even in a crate in the car, it's too much room to move around and he will throw up. I was proud of Louis on this trip because it was full of people. But I also have two things to vent about!

First, I'm proud of him because he was able to hang out with 6 adults and 2 toddlers. He was fine with the kids as long as they didn't stare or try to hover around him. He did bark at one of them but I just shooed him away. Even among all the people and commotion, AND being off leash - he did not salivate so I know he wasn't nervous (he salivates at the dog park cause he hates it there, and at the vet's office). He's good off leash but only with me unfortunately. He was out with my husband and father-in-law and they lost him for a few minutes, and found him walking down the street (I suspect looking for me). When he's with me, he sticks right by my side, and if he walks off, he does not go far.

My first complaint about the trip was my brother-in-law's reactions to my husband's suggestion on how to pet Louis. My BIL looked interested in petting him, so my husband asked him to pet underneath his chin, not over his head. Louis is a very shy dog and scared of hands and strangers. My BIL just retorted "Don't tell me what to do." I think there was some sibling tension there, but I did not appreciate it coming out regarding our dog. My husband got really pissed cause he was being helpful (not being a canine know-it-all which his brother thought he was being). My husband does not claim to know everything about dogs, but he knows OUR dogs. I tried to reassure him that even strangers don't listen to my advice on how to pet Louis so I just gave up on letting people pet him. It annoys me that people think they know better!!

My second complaint - which tinged the rest of the trip in bitterness - was my cousin's handling of how to take my dogs out. We were going to be gone for 10+ hours one day and I needed someone to stop by the house to let the dogs out to potty. I chose her because I trust her, and thought she'd be a better fit than my BIL, cause she is a girl and Louis is afraid of men, plus my BIL's previous attitude did not please me.

I tried to get her to come by the house to meet Louis the night before we were to leave, but she couldn't make it due to work. She said she would call so that I could inform her about the dogs. It got really late and I couldn't stay up any longer because I had to wake up early the next day. So I sent her a very detailed text message on instructions on how to take the dogs out. Mainly it was about Louis because he is a quirky, fearful dog. I texted:

Take Louis out first. He is scared of strangers and hands petting him over the head. If you want to pet him, don't force it, pet underneath his chin. Hopefully he'll let you put a leash on him. Put the leash on him right when you open the crate, don't let him run out cause he might hide under the bed. If you can't clip the blue leash on him, use the yellow slip leash (lasso him). You will have to walk him around the block till he pees at least four times (he loves to mark). If he poops don't let him sniff his poop cause he'll try to eat it. Hopefully he'll follow you and eliminate. He might resist and may be too nervous to pee. But coax him to walk and he'll pee. Take him back to the house and put him back in his crate (unclip leash).

My cousin called me right after I sent her the text. She said how I sent her a novel. I asked if she read it and she confirmed that she did. We decided on a time that she'd stop by the house, 3PM, and we got off the phone.

I left the dogs crated at 8:30 AM, fast forward to around 5:30PM - I get a phonecall from her as we are driving back home - that she can't get a hold of Louis. He keeps running away from her. He keeps growling at her. He's under the bed and she can't get him out. She also adds, "Oh, and he pooped on the treadmill, and under the bed." He pooped four times because he was so scared. By this point I'm really annoyed. I asked her how she let him out. She says "Oh I just opened the crate and let him run out with the rest of the dogs." (She brought her dog) I specifically had asked her to take Louis out first, then my other dog. Not a free-for-all let all the dogs out! I asked her why she would do that when I specifically asked her to NOT let Louis run out like that. It turns out - SHE NEVER READ MY TEXT. At this point I was furious.

Before we got home, she was able to catch him and put him back in his crate. She was able to get the leash on him and walk him. She told me he peed twice. I confronted her why she didn't read my text. She treated it like it was no big deal, and that I was crazy for making a big deal out of it. After arguing several times over a couple of days, the excuses were that the text was too long to read, that if it's more than three lines she won't read it, that she didn't read it cause she was drunk when she received it (even though she told me she read it when we spoke on the phone), that I'm nuts for writing such a long text message, that even though she said she'd be at the house at 3 PM, she really got lunch first, so I think she stopped by at 5 PM instead. I appreciate that she stopped by to help me out, but I am very disappointed that she can't follow simple, yet specific directions. I really commiserate with you guys who take your dogs to get groomed and tell them one thing, and they come out looking like the total opposite of what you instructed the groomer to do. That was how I felt!! Sure, my dogs weren't dead and they were fine when I got home, but I'm angry that she traumatized my dog. She told me to "chill out," and that she was providing much needed socialization to my dog. In order for her to coax Louis out from under the bed, she fed him cheese and candy!! Needless to say, Louis had diarrhea the next day. She also brought her friend with her who fed my other dog candy, AND let him off leash (when I told her not to), so when I got home they said how much fun he had running in 10 neighbors' yards (most of the houses there do not have fences).

I really have a hard time trusting people to take care of my animals and I really did not need this mess to happen to me. Especially from my cousin who I thought I could trust. Perhaps I put too much trust in her to read my text, and not giving her verbal instructions. I felt that she would forget verbal instructions and that the text would be better so she could have something to refer to if she forgot anything. Lesson learned for me! I was going to get her to work with/for me when I start my dog grooming business but I decided against it. She revealed to me her immaturity, and her cavalier attitude towards my instructions makes me angry.

A lot of people think I'm a neurotic [email protected] when it comes to my dogs. I needed a place to vent to other dog people to alleviate my annoyance! I will be going on vacation for a week in the next few months and I'm very anxious about it. I had asked a friend to watch our cats for a week once - all she had to do was stop by the house. Well she screwed up following directions - like when we stressed setting the alarm and locking the house - it was never done. Thank god we weren't robbed and that the door didn't blow open and the cats didn't escape (which has happened before). We also had a friend watch my other dog once - I left a 7-page list of instructions - that my husband told me I was crazy to write and that no one would read it - and yes, our friend didn't read it (but I also went over it verbally). But even when I told him that he could give a tendon chew to my dog to keep him occupied if he wanted to relax, that it'd be okay - instead our friend gave the tendon chew to my dog in his crate, crated him, and left for work. Thanks for watching my dog but thank god he isn't DEAD (from the choking hazard)!! *sigh* It's small things here and there I feel like people are incompetent to carry out. I wish I could clone myself so that one copy could stay with my dogs and the other one can go on vacation.

If you've made it this far reading this, thank you! You may think I'm a crazy nutcase - but I pride myself in taking care of other people's pets, like how the OWNER wants their pets to me taken care of, not how I want them taken care of. I am a dog groomer and know that if I cannot follow specific instructions from a client, I will not have any business! I double and triple check with clients to make sure I'm doing everything they asked me to do, and not to do anything they don't want. If I had hired a dogwalker to let my dogs out and they did what my cousin did, they would be fired on the spot.

The Babies!
tokipoke is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-02-2012, 02:46 AM
ProudNewHavMomma
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Happy Valley, PA
Posts: 15
Submit Photo: 1
Photo Submissions 2 Times in 2 Posts
No fears, Tokipoke, I understand your frustration and I've never left my girl alone for as long as that! I would be like...beyond furious!! But I do understand- one of my good friends, who adores Brees, also works for my father who runs the business from home. We live in the adjoining apartment to my parents home...it is a hallway and one door to get to Brees. When I am in class all day I'll text her simply ask her to please let Brees out and make sure she still has water....her response? "I don't do dogs" First of all, she is a PET SITTER as her other job, and secondly she works for my father, who pays her hourly whether she is letting our Havs out or doing things for his business and he is a very busy man, I feel bad asking him to check in on Brees because he has so much to do each day already...that's why he has an assistant...and apparently she only loves Brees when she is petting or snuggling with her. That's not real love in my opinion, if you loved my puppy girl, and if you cared about me and respected our family, you would let our puppies out. They aren't even a pain! They both have their designated potty spots, you walk them to their areas and say "Go potty" they'll pee and then after some sniffing and racing about for a minute, they'll finish their business. It is honestly at MOST a 10 minute ordeal to take both dogs out, even though you can't take them out together because they get distracted (God forbid she makes two trips). I am not even asking her to exercise or play with them, I take care of that before and after class. Just simply let them outdoors and make sure that they have water....and in addition to that annoyance she is always trying to tell me how to care for Brees. Now, Brees is my first Havanese, and the first dog that I have actually owned, as opposed to my parents, but I have done and continue to do extensive research both on Havanese and puppy training. I've invested quite a bit of time in educating myself about the best way to ensure Brees is a happy, healthy, well adjusted, well behaved/well mannered, puppy AND dog. Simply because she cares for peoples' dogs over a 48 hour period suddenly makes her think she is Cesar Milan....ugh! I just turned this into my own vent session!! But I totally feel you!!!
PeaceLoveHavanese is offline  
post #3 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-02-2012, 02:59 AM
Camellia Camelo and Carol
 
CarolWCamelo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 534
Submit Photo: 0
Photo Submissions 4 Times in 4 Posts
Arrow

Dear Toki,

I'm REALLY glad you wrote all that long post. I would have been just as furious as you were.

Looks to me as though the essence of those problems arise because of people's attitudes towards dogs, and their places on Earth. They cannot, I think, CONCEIVE that dogs are members of our families - a little like very young children, who need people to pay ATTENTION to their actual needs - and to their beings - how they are; what they are like.

To think about the reality - the actuality of dog-being - is, for them, a useless task. But what I disliked most was the cavalier attitude, the implication they'd follow instructions, and then not doing it, and treating it as irrelevant.

So I'm with you EVERY STEP OF THE WAY in your post.

Did you find out what kind of candy was fed to the dogs? I hope not chocolate. Candy! especially bad for diabetic dogs (I had one).

So sorry all that happened. I'm more fortunate than you are; I have one trustworthy dog-sitter. And usually, I don't have to travel at all, and am always home.

Thanks for taking to trouble to write that story. I think it's good to know just how BAD some dog-sitters can be.

Lots of love and hugs,
Tue, 1 May 2012 23:59:13 (PDT)

Camellia and Carol (CarolWCamelo)
http://www.coherentdog.org/
CarolWCamelo is offline  
 
post #4 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-02-2012, 03:10 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
tokipoke's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 405
Submit Photo: 1
Photo Submissions 9 Times in 9 Posts
Vent away!! My husband told me to "drop it," so I can no longer bring it up or even make jokes about it. He did mention how I would hold this over my cousin's head for as long as I lived. He is right. I do hold grudges for a while, but maybe it's because I have high expectations of people (and of course, myself, being a perfectionist).

I find it really odd that your friend refuses to let your puppies out! Is it because she's not paid to do that, and that's "not her job?" Maybe she feels resentment that she has to work for your father, and also "work" for you by tending to dogs during her job, that is not pet sitting? I don't understand this attitude. I'm always honored when friends ask me to watch their pets. I also go out of my way to take lots of pictures and give many updates - email, texts, with pics included - I even have facebook albums of my friend's pets. Luckily, my friends aren't as anxious as me, so they'll leave their pets with me and I won't even hear from them. After three days of vacation, I'm ready to go home cause I miss my pets so much. Even when clients pick up their dogs after being groomed my me, I always make a point to tell them how their dog did, what they liked/disliked - cause many dogs have good days and bad days - and if a dog's behavior is strange, then it could be something medically related, if they played or drank water, if they peed or pooped, if they got along with the other dogs, if I find any medical related things like an abscess or ear infection. Many times when I relate that "FiFi was grumpy today," they will tell me a story of some stressor in the house that is causing the dog to act out. It makes a lot of sense when they tell me these stories and I also learn more about my pet clients. I had a client who wrote a list for me for her dog. I followed it exactly and she's a happy customer. When it comes to people's pets, it's all about THEM (pet and owner)!!

The Babies!
tokipoke is offline  
post #5 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-02-2012, 03:15 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
tokipoke's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 405
Submit Photo: 1
Photo Submissions 9 Times in 9 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolWCamelo View Post
Dear Toki,

I'm REALLY glad you wrote all that long post. I would have been just as furious as you were.

Looks to me as though the essence of those problems arise because of people's attitudes towards dogs, and their places on Earth. They cannot, I think, CONCEIVE that dogs are members of our families - a little like very young children, who need people to pay ATTENTION to their actual needs - and to their beings - how they are; what they are like.

To think about the reality - the actuality of dog-being - is, for them, a useless task. But what I disliked most was the cavalier attitude, the implication they'd follow instructions, and then not doing it, and treating it as irrelevant.

So I'm with you EVERY STEP OF THE WAY in your post.

Did you find out what kind of candy was fed to the dogs? I hope not chocolate. Candy! especially bad for diabetic dogs (I had one).

So sorry all that happened. I'm more fortunate than you are; I have one trustworthy dog-sitter. And usually, I don't have to travel at all, and am always home.

Thanks for taking to trouble to write that story. I think it's good to know just how BAD some dog-sitters can be.

Lots of love and hugs,
Tue, 1 May 2012 23:59:13 (PDT)
Thank you for reading all that and for your reply! It comforts me to know that I'm not whacko! I do view my pets as my children. I spend all my money on them and their wellbeing. I worry about them, I would be so devastated if something bad happened and I wasn't there!

They gave my dogs Sour Patch Kids (sour gummy candy). On top of that, they gave my dogs the worst flavor! Yellow!

The Babies!
tokipoke is offline  
post #6 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-02-2012, 03:37 AM
Camellia Camelo and Carol
 
CarolWCamelo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 534
Submit Photo: 0
Photo Submissions 4 Times in 4 Posts
Arrow

Neither of you are whacko. It's the others who are. Obviously!

Mummy - it's time to go back to beddy-bye. (00)

You're so right, Camellia; I'm coming; I'm COMING! ;-^

P.S. to Toki - I tend to be perfectionist, too, mostly, about my DOGS!

Wed, 2 May 2012 00:37:33 (PDT)

Camellia and Carol (CarolWCamelo)
http://www.coherentdog.org/
CarolWCamelo is offline  
post #7 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-02-2012, 08:33 AM
Joe Cool!
 
morriscsps's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Metrowest Massachusetts
Posts: 2,059
Submit Photo: 0
Photo Submissions 9 Times in 9 Posts
I, too, have an idiot BiL. Our previous dog, a border collie, had the typical border collie baggage. Idiot man would purposely work him up. Stare-downs, growling, grabbing at his feet. Here I am trying to keep the dog calm and Idiot is ignoring me. I even put the dog in a bedroom to keep him calm. Idiot went into the room to "visit". ARGH! WTH!

I feel your pain.

TTFN,
Pam

morriscsps is offline  
post #8 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-02-2012, 09:21 AM
Camellia Camelo and Carol
 
CarolWCamelo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 534
Submit Photo: 0
Photo Submissions 4 Times in 4 Posts
Arrow

Quote:
Originally Posted by morriscsps View Post
I, too, have an idiot BiL. Our previous dog, a border collie, had the typical border collie baggage. Idiot man would purposely work him up. Stare-downs, growling, grabbing at his feet. Here I am trying to keep the dog calm and Idiot is ignoring me. I even put the dog in a bedroom to keep him calm. Idiot went into the room to "visit". ARGH! WTH!

I feel your pain.
I'm wondering how much of this sort of thing results from:

1) disrespect from men of women's wishes;

2) men loving to rile up other critters (human and canine alike)

or what the heck else.

Wed, 2 May 2012 06:21:39 (PDT)

Camellia and Carol (CarolWCamelo)
http://www.coherentdog.org/

Last edited by CarolWCamelo; 05-02-2012 at 09:24 AM. Reason: fix typo
CarolWCamelo is offline  
post #9 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-02-2012, 09:43 AM
Linda
 
HavaneseSoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Eastern North Carolina
Posts: 5,409
Submit Photo: 73
Photo Submissions 24 Times in 22 Posts
I read your long post. I understand completely your concerns and yes I do wish we could copy and paste ourselves to take care of our Havs. We are so detailed in our care, that we tend to get too perfected on the care. I think it was information overload for your cousin. Sometimes, it helps to keep the instructions short and sweet. Forgive and forget.

And thank you so much for writing out your vent. Sometimes, writing it out helps so much and writing allows us to vents our anger.

We understand your concerns.



Dexter & Jack
"One Hav is NOT enough to enjoy the RLH skills!"
HavaneseSoon is offline  
post #10 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-02-2012, 09:45 AM
Senior Member
 
Carefulove's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 1,530
Submit Photo: 0
Photo Submissions 9 Times in 8 Posts
Darlin' sometimes family can be the biggest A-holes in the world.
Nothing wrong with venting an nothing wrong with getting upset, Your BIL is an idiot and was off line with his brother.
Your cousin, I hope she got dog poop on her hands cleaning after Louis. She deserves it for her behaviour.

I am lucky my sister kept Bumi when we went to Europe 2 yrs ago (and will keep the two dogs next time we go), but when I came back, I wanted to smack her upside the head. Bumi was a giant KNOT, Everywhere that poor dog had knots, It was a miracle I didn't have to shave him down.

Zury

Peluito's King Bumi (Bumi)

Across the Rainbow Bridge - Starborn Mi Pequeño Tesoro (Toby) - Miss you my sweet boy.

Peluito's Phoenix King (Nix)
Carefulove is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Havanese Forum : Havanese Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome