Bonding with Kids - Havanese Forum : Havanese Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-25-2013, 08:25 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
m0rg4n's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Texan from Illinois currently out of pocket
Posts: 135
Submit Photo: 1
Photo Submissions 0 Times in 0 Posts
Bonding with Kids

Apparently because Indy likes me best - he "hates" Zoe. I'm not even sure how to respond to this one. We've been telling Zoe since day one that Indy would probably be a mommy's boy. I'm home all day, I get up with him at night, I feed him and I'm in charge of walks. However, just because he's more comfortable with me right now doesn't mean he hates her or Brad it just means he's a baby that knows I'm a mom.

The biggest concern I have is that I see Z "giving up". Not trying to play or interact with him because he already "hates" her so why bother. I really don't know how to help her. I know as Indy gets older it won't be as big of a deal but how can you teach a kid that a dog isn't a toy for them but a living being that has opinions too. Unless he's cuddling her or playing with her he must hate her... but there are so many times when he wants to play and she wants to watch a show or play a video game. It's frustrating.

I'm going to put Zoe in charge of feeding (monitored so that it isn't ever forgotten) and have her go on at least one walk with us every day. Walks will get easier as Indy figures out how to walk on a leash easier (still difficult - any advice or tips on that?) because she'll be able to take him on her own. Right now I'm just looking for any other tips or hints on how to help a dog bond with more than just the main care taker.
m0rg4n is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 02-25-2013, 09:19 AM
Member
 
Odieo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 80
Submit Photo: 3
Photo Submissions 0 Times in 0 Posts
I have similar issues with our 11 week old Odeo. He wants to be with mommy, I work full-time, so it is not like I'm around all day and he got attached, I guess he just likes being with mommy. My 9 year old, almost gave up after first 3-4 days because "Odeo does not care". But then I started to give them more space. I stay away 9go out for a short walk) or go to my bedroom for 1/2 hr or so every day and leave Odeo to my 9 yr old. Since my bedroom is on first floor, Odeo can't get up the stairs and he has no choice but to be with my son. They both are slowly starting to build a bond, but still if I'm around, I'm the preferred one. Here is a picture of my son playing flute and Odeo "hanging out" with him.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg photo 4 (1).JPG (110.0 KB, 5 views)
Odieo is offline  
Old 02-25-2013, 10:43 AM
Metrowest, MA
 
krandall's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 23,604
Submit Photo: 6
Photo Submissions 298 Times in 296 Posts
I think this is a very important lesson to learn. Dogs are NOT toys, and they require a lot of care. Better for your children to learn this now.

I'm not sure how old Zoey is, baut assuming she is in the 9-12 year old range, you both have children that are the right age, as long as they are properly instructed and are trustworthy to follow directions, that they can take over part of the care of the puppy, and that may help strengthen the bond. If nothing else, it will teach your children responsibility to another family member. because that's what that new puppy is.

It may ALWAYS be that your puppy prefers one family member over another, but that doesn't mean that they won't have a GOOD relationship with everyone else too. But the children have to do their part. Remind them that not only is it their responsibility to do more in terms of relationship building just because they have the bigger brain, but also that a 12 week old puppy is still a LITTLE baby. Even adults seem to forget that rather quickly. The animal you have now is not the one you will have in a year. What your family puts INTO that animal NOW, in large part, determines what kind of dog he will be in a year or two.

I hope both of you have signed your puppies up for puppy kindergarten by now, and I hope you chose a time when your children can accompany you and help in their training. A good trainer will also be able to answer your children's questions in terms of what can be expected of the puppies at any particular age.


Karen, Kodi, Pixel and Panda
(ARCHMX Starborn Kodak Moment CGC, NTD, BN, PCD, NA, NAJ, CDX-CCH, RE, RLV, RL1X3, RL2X4, RL3X3...
plus Starborn's Picture Perfect & Nauti Herd Compact Flash RN, CGC, NTD, SN-C, RL1)







Last edited by krandall; 02-25-2013 at 10:48 AM.
krandall is offline  
 
Old 02-25-2013, 10:56 AM
Jacqueline
 
sprorchid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Oakland, CA
Posts: 1,090
Submit Photo: 6
Photo Submissions 13 Times in 13 Posts
I know you guys are talking about a family, and children within the family. working at a school, and having a certified therapy dog, I will say that Ollie, although he hangs out with lots of children, he clearly has his favorites. personally I think it's the child's energy and interaction that causees Ollie to favor one child over another. It does tend to be students that have dogs of their own. interesting huh.
sprorchid is offline  
Old 02-25-2013, 12:09 PM
Senior Member
 
TilliesMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 5,278
Submit Photo: 0
Photo Submissions 36 Times in 36 Posts
we struggle with this once in awhile too, My kids were 5 and 8 1/2 when we got Tillie and to this day, she has a much stronger bond with my oldest (11 on Wednesday!!) .. all in all, the kids and Tillie are 'littermates' even so far as Tillie has a special 'yip' that literally "Tells on the kids" if they are up to no good, OR if they are stealing her toys and hiding them... lol

Tammy and Tillie
TilliesMom is offline  
Old 02-25-2013, 12:59 PM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
m0rg4n's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Texan from Illinois currently out of pocket
Posts: 135
Submit Photo: 1
Photo Submissions 0 Times in 0 Posts
Zoe is currently 11 years old and helps out quite a bit. I think part of it is that Indy is very attached to me and she's at school all day so she feels like she's missing out, entirely understandable.

We haven't found a puppy school yet but we're still looking. We might have to skip the class and go straight to a trainer. Indy misses on the socialization but at least I'd be able to understand the instruction
m0rg4n is offline  
Old 02-25-2013, 01:37 PM
Member
 
Odieo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 80
Submit Photo: 3
Photo Submissions 0 Times in 0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by krandall View Post

I hope both of you have signed your puppies up for puppy kindergarten by now, and I hope you chose a time when your children can accompany you and help in their training. A good trainer will also be able to answer your children's questions in terms of what can be expected of the puppies at any particular age.
We have not signed up for puppy KG yet. I'm trying to train him at home for now and start puppy KG middle of March. He is potty trained for pee pads (even in friends homes, if he sees a pee pad he will go to it), he knows: sit, walkie ( almost like heel - he will stop and sit when I stop walking), fetch. He stays in his crate all night (crate is in his ex pen). During day we take him out of his ex-pen every 2 hrs and play/train him and put him back...he has play dates with a yorkie, shihtzu every other day. Yorkie (1.5 yr old) is scared of him, Shihtzu (4 month old) plays well and then growls. He has not been encouraged to jump, so he will come to people and wag his tail, if they pet him, then he will try to jump if not he will just sit and watch. I'm listing these out so that someone can tell me if I'm doing this right. I do plan to take him to puppy KG middle of March, but read somewhere that there should be lot of training going on around 10-12 weeks so did not want to miss the "window" and it is fun to work with him...and he likes to learn
Odieo is offline  
Old 02-25-2013, 07:12 PM
Metrowest, MA
 
krandall's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 23,604
Submit Photo: 6
Photo Submissions 298 Times in 296 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by m0rg4n View Post
Zoe is currently 11 years old and helps out quite a bit. I think part of it is that Indy is very attached to me and she's at school all day so she feels like she's missing out, entirely understandable.

We haven't found a puppy school yet but we're still looking. We might have to skip the class and go straight to a trainer. Indy misses on the socialization but at least I'd be able to understand the instruction
Really, REALLY try to find a puppy K. That early socialization period is something you never get back, and you will regret it later if she doesn't get properly socialized now. This is at LEAST as big an issue as potty training, and one that people, especially new owners of small breeds, often think is not that important, just because the dog is small. A dog that is reactive due to lack of socialization is much less likely to be taken places with his or her family, and the problem just gets worse with age.


Karen, Kodi, Pixel and Panda
(ARCHMX Starborn Kodak Moment CGC, NTD, BN, PCD, NA, NAJ, CDX-CCH, RE, RLV, RL1X3, RL2X4, RL3X3...
plus Starborn's Picture Perfect & Nauti Herd Compact Flash RN, CGC, NTD, SN-C, RL1)






krandall is offline  
Old 02-25-2013, 07:14 PM
Metrowest, MA
 
krandall's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 23,604
Submit Photo: 6
Photo Submissions 298 Times in 296 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Odieo View Post
We have not signed up for puppy KG yet. I'm trying to train him at home for now and start puppy KG middle of March. He is potty trained for pee pads (even in friends homes, if he sees a pee pad he will go to it), he knows: sit, walkie ( almost like heel - he will stop and sit when I stop walking), fetch. He stays in his crate all night (crate is in his ex pen). During day we take him out of his ex-pen every 2 hrs and play/train him and put him back...he has play dates with a yorkie, shihtzu every other day. Yorkie (1.5 yr old) is scared of him, Shihtzu (4 month old) plays well and then growls. He has not been encouraged to jump, so he will come to people and wag his tail, if they pet him, then he will try to jump if not he will just sit and watch. I'm listing these out so that someone can tell me if I'm doing this right. I do plan to take him to puppy KG middle of March, but read somewhere that there should be lot of training going on around 10-12 weeks so did not want to miss the "window" and it is fun to work with him...and he likes to learn
It sounds like you're giving him a great start. Just get him into that puppy K for broader socialization opportunities ASAP. He will need to learn to socialize well with more than just two other specific dogs. (although that is certainly better than nothing, and a good place to start)


Karen, Kodi, Pixel and Panda
(ARCHMX Starborn Kodak Moment CGC, NTD, BN, PCD, NA, NAJ, CDX-CCH, RE, RLV, RL1X3, RL2X4, RL3X3...
plus Starborn's Picture Perfect & Nauti Herd Compact Flash RN, CGC, NTD, SN-C, RL1)






krandall is offline  
 

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Havanese Forum : Havanese Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Thread Tools



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome