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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-27-2013, 09:38 PM Thread Starter
Dana and John
 
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Independent Puppy but Less Affection

Dana and I made some conscious decisions to instill a sense of independence in Gibbs. We chose not bring him into our bedroom to sleep, and allow him to work out anxiety for himself. To clarify:

We always make sure he's safe, but when he cried the first few nights he slept by himself, we allowed him to calm himself.

When the thunderstorm hit, we didn't rush to comfort him. We allowed him to calm himself, and when he was relaxed, we put him on the couch with us.


Here's the "problem" - He seems like he doesn't like to cuddle or snuggle for more than 5 minutes. He loves to play and give kisses, but doesn't seem to enjoy being pet for more than 5 minutes at a time. He will occasionally stand on his hind legs to get up on the couch, but will always move to the far end.


I guess my question is:

By trying to instill a sense of independence, did we lesson his need for affection?

John




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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-27-2013, 10:02 PM
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Emmie was not a big snuggler when she was younger but has become a little more of one over the last few months (she's 16 months now). But she still only stays on the couch with me for 5-10 minutes at a time. The only exception was when she was sick when she just wanted to curl up in my lap. I don't think you need to worry about sweet cute Gibbs. -Jeanne
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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-27-2013, 11:17 PM
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How old is Gibbs now? I held Dexter a lot as a puppy and to this day he loves my lap and will sit next to me. Jack #2, time went so fast, he did not get a chance to lay on my lap like Dexter. Jack is independent. But, Jack is the one who will go to me to bed and Dexter will stay with Dad. If I am home, Dexter is with me.



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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-28-2013, 12:45 AM
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I am not sure how old Gibbs is, but he is still fairly young, yes? We tried to do the same thing with Augie. He slept downstairs in his crate and we tried not to coddle him. My thinking was that should we ever have to leave him or were not there for him, I wanted him to be comfortable in his crate and independent and not needy. He really did not like being held much at all for the first year. Now, if I am laying on the couch, he will come and snuggle up - but it is always at my feet or behind my knees. When I sit in the recliner to read the paper, that is his lap time. He will stay as long as I stay in the chair. And maybe what we did has nothing to do with the way he is - maybe that is just him. Having them independent is much easier and less stressful to deal with, in my opinion. My guys can handle thunder storms and fireworks just fine as well. Finn does seem more needy and in need of attention than Augie and I don't know if that is because we already had Augie when we brought Finn into the house or if it is just his personality.

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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-28-2013, 07:26 AM
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You didn't cause any changes. They're all different, just like people. He'll probably be more of a snuggler as he ages.
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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-28-2013, 08:04 AM Thread Starter
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He will be 14 weeks tomorrow

John




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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-28-2013, 08:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gibbs Mom and Dad View Post
Dana and I made some conscious decisions to instill a sense of independence in Gibbs. We chose not bring him into our bedroom to sleep, and allow him to work out anxiety for himself. To clarify:

We always make sure he's safe, but when he cried the first few nights he slept by himself, we allowed him to calm himself.

When the thunderstorm hit, we didn't rush to comfort him. We allowed him to calm himself, and when he was relaxed, we put him on the couch with us.


Here's the "problem" - He seems like he doesn't like to cuddle or snuggle for more than 5 minutes. He loves to play and give kisses, but doesn't seem to enjoy being pet for more than 5 minutes at a time. He will occasionally stand on his hind legs to get up on the couch, but will always move to the far end.


I guess my question is:

By trying to instill a sense of independence, did we lesson his need for affection?
I don't think so! A lot of puppies are just too "busy" to be big cuddlers. Many become more "lap dog" oriented as they mature. Kodi has certain times that he likes to snuggle... first thing in the morning, and just before we go to bed at night. He'll come up to us and want some stroking from time to time during the day, but he spends most of his time sleeping NEAR me during the day, either in his (open) crate or on the floor if we are not near the crate. He is almost always in the same room with me. (If he's not, I get suspicious and go see what he's getting into! )

Remember, though, every puppy (and dog) is an individual, and there are variations, even within a "companion" breed. Some just ARE more independent, while others are more clingy. I LIKE that Kodi doesn't have to be "on" me all the time. I work at home, and it might make it hard to get my work done. Appreciate Gibbs for who he is, and you will all find ways to enjoy a great relationship. But I don't think anything YOU'VE done has made him the way he is.


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Last edited by krandall; 06-28-2013 at 08:57 AM.
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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-28-2013, 02:13 PM
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He will be 14 weeks tomorrow
oh my goodness, he's still just a baby! Tillie was 14 weeks when we brought her home! lol

Some are born cuddlers, some aren't. Tillie will come for loves and snuggles and then will jump down and pass out on the floor. She comes to me when she wants snuggles, but has never been nor ever will be a 'lap dog' and that is okay with me! I'm too busy to sit still with her on my lap for long! lol

Tammy and Tillie
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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-28-2013, 03:42 PM
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They do change as the dog gets older. My 1/2 hav was never really cuddly, but he puts up with me, b/c he knows I like it. he was much more snuggly as a pup, and after he grew up (at about 1.5 yrs old), he came much more independent, but he always was independent, and not much of a lap dog.

Funny, my little guy gets VERY cuddly when he thinks he's in trouble, lol. I wouldn't worry about it. If you want him to sit on your lap our next to you, I don't see an issue with moving him to the spot you want him to be in.

I will say, these little guys are very aware of your energy and mood. I'm sure if your pup senses how happy you are when you cuddle him, he'll do it just to please you.
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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 06-28-2013, 06:13 PM
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Fred was not affectionate at all as a pup. As an adult, he is now the biggest cuddler of the 3! I love how affectionate he is. As soon as I lied down to go to bed or watch tv, he climbs onto my chest and lies down on me.





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