Molly is WAY too attached to me! - Havanese Forum : Havanese Forums
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post #1 of 29 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 05:01 PM Thread Starter
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Molly is WAY too attached to me!

Help! Molly is completely and totally attached to me and is having major separation anxiety!

She follows me everywhere, and completely freaks if I walk away from her (if someone else is holding her on the leash). She also barks incessantly if I crate her when I leave or if I leave her outside in the ex-pen.

DH came home today while I was out running errands, and he let her out of the crate. She ran around the house barking until I came home!

What do I do?? I have parties I have to go to every weekend in May including my daughter's Communion, and I am also out and about a lot during the week!

Susan
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post #2 of 29 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 05:28 PM
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Get another to keep her company!
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post #3 of 29 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 05:40 PM
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She is in a new home. It will take some time for her to feel secure there. give it some time. But don't give in or you will create a forever problem. I would also speak with the breeder to see what she did when this happened at their house...




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post #4 of 29 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 05:44 PM Thread Starter
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Missy--the breeder said to shake a can with coins when she's outside barking. That was really all she told me though! I've tried the can and she could care less!

Susan
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post #5 of 29 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 05:57 PM
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Molly may have never been on her own. If the breeder had other dogs, she has never learnt to be alone and bear the separation. You may have to set up a routine where she would be gradually trained to be alone. I trained Benji by the following routine:

Take my purse, pick up car keys, saying a phrase that indicates good bye" I will be back soon, you sleep, sleep", I gave him treats. I kept the TV on. He had his crate, water bowl and toys in the ex-pen. I started with going out for 5 minutes and gradually increasing it to 30 and more. It took about 2 weeks to get to 1 hour or more. Then I increased it even more. I work for 4 hours, 3 days a week and by the time I was ready to go back to work, he was fine and didn't have any anxiety.

I tried to do the same with Lizzie but she got hysterical and Benji dug in his heels if she was whining and crying. She is still clingy but has got a lot better. I have never been able to to leave her alone.

I hope Molly would adjust soon. You might want to have the books " How to raise a puppy that you can live with" and "Puppies for Dummies". I found them very useful.

Wish you all the best!

Best, Poornima
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post #6 of 29 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 06:21 PM
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It probably will take time for Molly to feel secure without you in sight. I think Diana had the same problem with Teddy! With our foster girl Gigi, who came yesterday, it was the same way. She NEVER left my side. Today, I stayed home from work and had her outside with my 3 Havs and did gardening. I ignored her (but kept an eye on her, you know those Mom's eyes in the back of your head) and each hour today she make progress., Moved away, visited with the other dogs, investigated the gardens. It was great. You just need to give her time!! I can say that Logan has never ever been left alone, so he too will bark if he is not left with a pup!! It will get better once she starts to feel a little more comfortable.

Laurie

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post #7 of 29 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 06:30 PM
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Sounds normal to me. She is in a new home and you are the person she feels safest with. My little guy wouldn't let me out of his sight for about.....10 months! Now I can go just around a corner in the house and he's ok with it! That's why these are called companion dogs. They want to be with you all the time! Don't even think about going to the bathroom alone LOL! She should calm down a bit over time, but she would probably always prefer to be right with you if she could.
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post #8 of 29 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 06:32 PM
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I had these issues with Henry when he was a pup. Not only is Molly in a new home, she's actually an infant.

You need to make sure she feels safe and secure before you go away. Maybe even tire her out before you depart so she sleeps and sleeps.

Let us know if you still need help . . .
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post #9 of 29 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 06:50 PM
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All mine prefer me. They follow me from room to room. I'm usually the one that has to let the two in crates out to the bathroom when we've been away, or they'll come looking for me. Instead of going outside. I told dh when we got Leo last wk, I wanted him to be more attached to the kids. But, it's never going to happen. I'm the one that he saw first. That picked him up, that has spent all this time with him. That just spent the last 45 mins, rocking him in a chair, LOL. Ok..maybe that's why he loves me so

Anyways, it really does seem normal. Especially for the first wk or so. Leo has already started to break away from me some. I'm sure she'll come around.
Good luck!

Tritia, Daisy, Cooper, and Bodie.
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post #10 of 29 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 06:59 PM
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You've gotten great advice so far.

Here's my .02, take it for what it's worth!

Posh was six months when I got her from her breeder, at that time we did have another dog who has since passed, but he was a dane who didn't really interact with her much, so I wouldn't say they were playmates....

When I was home she was allowed "free roaming" of my very small main floor living space (kitchen living room computer area dining...it's all open) her crate is in the living room, where we mainly hang out as a family. At first when I would crate her for bed time or when I left the house (I would never be gone more than 3 hours) she wanted nothing to do with the crate-even though she did sleep in a crate at the breeders. Well, I fed her in her crate-with the door open and gave the command "kennel" with a treat every night and when I would leave. I did have to actually put her in the crate at first. It didn't take long for it click and now she runs into her crate when I say "kennel" because she knows she's going to get a treat.

Posh's crate, as I said, is in the main level of the house, and we sleep upstairs. She was an angel the first night (I'm sure she was in a bit of "shock") and didn't make a peep. The second night I heard her howling and barking. I did go downstairs to make sure she didn't have to potty. I took her out to pee, didn't give her any coddling and put her back in her crate with a treat and went to bed. She hasn't barked or whined in her crate since that second day home.

I do every once in a while take care of my SIL's cavalier spaniel, who is allowed to have free roaming rights all the time and sleeps in my Sister's bed. Since, I have enough little ones crawling in my bed in the middle of the night this isn't okay at our house. I use a crate with her which I place right next to Posh's so she doesn't feel alone. The first four nights or so (we had for 6 days) she barked at night. Actually, she barks quite a bit...when ever she even starts to woof I look at her and "growl" no bark and make a weird looking face. If she doesn't stop, I stop, pick her up, gently but sternly grab her muzzle and say "no bark." If she stops, I say "good no bark." By the fifth day Lucy (cavalier) was not barking at night in the crate.

The missing you and following you is typical Hav behavior. Poshy loves my kids and my DH, but she is devoted to me and follows me everywhere. When I'm gone she pouts in her crate, usually, and even looks for me. We've had for six months...so I don't know if this will change for Molly. But, the barking and crate training can.

Are you signed up for any obedience classes? I think this is the best way for you and your dog to gain confidence.

Also, do you have a pretty flexible schedule where you can just tote her along? Posh comes with me to all of my errand stops. We hang out in the local coffee house at least a couple times a week. She gets to socialize with all sorts of people and I get out of the house. If my errands are going to take a bit more time aka she'll have to be in her carrier, I don't take her. She does awesomely in her "bag" I've snuck her in many places. I'm pretty sure the breeder didn't do this with her, she had 7 dogs...so it doesn't take long for these guys to get used to a carrier and enjoy being with you.
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