is this kind of "training" ok?? - Havanese Forum : Havanese Forums
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post #1 of 46 (permalink) Old 09-18-2008, 03:54 PM Thread Starter
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Angry is this kind of "training" ok??

Because I'm still upset about something that happened last week, I thought I'd get some opinions. Hoping, someone will ease my mind and I can let it go.

My cousin, dh, 3 kids, dog and 2 cats came to stay with my parents last wk, as they were evacuated from Tx due to Ike. They have a 1 yr old Boston Terrier. I went to see them at my parents, and the dog was all over me. In my lap, licking me, jumping on me..etc. My cousin let her do it because she said that's what happened last time she came to visit from my dogs. "payback". She also knew that I'd love on her, and have no problem with the attention. She's a sweet pup. Her dh wasn't around at the time. But, I was surprised this dog behaved this way. Like...a dog. He made all kinds of comments about my dogs last time, how they needed to be trained better, etc.
Well, they came over later that night and of course mine were all over them. Barking, jumping on everyone. Thrilled to see the kids. Her dh instantly grabbed the closest dog (daisy, I think) by the scruff of the neck, turned her over on her back and held here there for a min. Then grabbed Bodie..and then Cooper (all by the neck) Guess he wanted to show them who was boss?? I don't know..but, it annoyed the heck out of me. I grabbed Daisy and put her in my room. When I came back in the living room, he had sat down on the couch. And Cooper jumped up on him. Before I could get over to them, he had Cooper dangling in the air, by the scruff of his neck, then turned him over like he'd done mins. before. I didn't know what to say. So, I just put them all in the other room.

Next day, I went to my mom's again. Their dog ran to me, and was stopped in it's tracks by my the scruff of the neck, again. Dog twisting and turning. I snapped, and told her I thought it was inhumane. And I got "all that extra skin, it doesn't hurt". I don't know. Does it?? She had her 4 ft in the air, walked her outside and dumped her on the lawn like that.
Later, I was trying to get Gidget to sit. Cousin's dh said you have to snap your fingers, point at her, then he told her to "sit" in this horrible, deep, mean voice. Um, yea..nice.

I didn't let them back over the next two nights. Because I didn't want them around my dogs. Was I wrong to get upset? Is this a normal way of training, i don't know about??

Tritia, Daisy, Cooper, and Bodie.
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post #2 of 46 (permalink) Old 09-18-2008, 04:00 PM
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Not normal. Not necessary.
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post #3 of 46 (permalink) Old 09-18-2008, 04:07 PM
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Seems very excessive to grab the dog by the scruff of the neck like that. Personally I would have told your friend's DH that nobody handles/corrects your dog but you and that if he does it again, you'll do it to him!

Just my 2 cents!

Chances are if your parents never had won't either...
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post #4 of 46 (permalink) Old 09-18-2008, 04:15 PM
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I think everybody needs to go to a positive training dog obedience school, so the humans can learn how to behave.
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post #5 of 46 (permalink) Old 09-18-2008, 04:21 PM
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Sorry you had to deal with this Tritia. I have "ruffled" the scruff with a firm NO. But I would never pick a dog up by the scruff... I think it would hurt the dog terribly. How would your cousins DH like to be picked up by his loose skin? I do not think you over reacted. It was not their place to train your dogs...period.

Missy, Jasper & Cash
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post #6 of 46 (permalink) Old 09-18-2008, 04:23 PM
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I agree with Daniel. I would have been ticked and would have told them, right then.
My DH says I am Queen of confrontation.

Santa, Sissygirl
& Marie
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post #7 of 46 (permalink) Old 09-18-2008, 04:25 PM
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Trita, I have to agree with the others. Not a very good way to train. It's just bullying basically, and not teaching the dogs anything other than "be afraid of me. Be very afraid." Not necessary at all to get positive results.

I would have put up a fight if anyone did that to my dogs in my house.

Hello. My name is marj and I have MHS.

"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." Mahatma Gandhi

“Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew.” -Guillaume Apollinaire"
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post #8 of 46 (permalink) Old 09-18-2008, 04:37 PM
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I think you're have every right to feel the way you do. I personally would feel violated if someone were to "discipline" my dog that way. What made him think it was okay to impose his way of doing things on your furry kids? It's not like you were asking him for parenting help! So many humans believe in order to have a well-behaved dog you have to "show 'em who's boss." It's one thing to establish dominance, but there's a right way and a wrong way to go about it. What this DH did was not cool. You were right to speak up! Maya

Last edited by SaydeeMomma; 09-18-2008 at 04:39 PM.
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post #9 of 46 (permalink) Old 09-18-2008, 04:39 PM
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Wrong, wrong, wrong.

I have a very dear friend whose SIL did that to train his dog. The last time he tried, when he put the dog on his back (with obviously too much force), he broke the dogs back. It had to be put down. It was heartbreaking all around. I think it is an indication of how he treats all living things in his life.
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post #10 of 46 (permalink) Old 09-18-2008, 04:40 PM
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Not cute! I would never discipline anyone elses' kid (fur or human) - no matter how bratty they are!
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