Changes & Feeling Guilty - Havanese Forum : Havanese Forums
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 05-27-2009, 08:41 AM Thread Starter
Baloo's Mom
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Changes & Feeling Guilty

Well there have been a few changes in our house lately, dh was offered a new job with a different company, which means moving from night work to day work. Good for us, more money and he likes the work better. He started work on Monday and I am feeling really guilty about leaving Baloo at home.

The first day, I think he knew something was different and he was that morning, so I came home at lunch and played with him and had lunch and of course he was fine.

I know I shouldn't feel guilty, my parents live in our basement and take him out 3 or 4 times a day and take him down to their apartment to spoil and play with him, but I still feel guilty because it's not me or dh. When I get home at 5 he freaks out, jumps, and barks at me. Almost like he is saying "you left me MOM!!!" and then he is so clingy and under my feet for the rest of the night.

Anyways, I knew you all would understand how I feel. I love him so much and I know we are giving him an great loving and caring home but I guess I needed to tell someone how I feel.

On a good note I found this great new store near where I work it is called "Love Puppy Canine Boutique" and I got Baloo a sweet "manly" engraved tag with his name and phone number and this great stuffed dog toy that doesn't squeek and he actually likes it! YEAH, all the ones I have squeek and he won't play with them.

Oh, and he goes to the groomers for the 1st time on Friday...I will make sure to take pictures.

Thanks for letting me chat away, you may need a coffee to read this rant

~ Angie ~
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 05-27-2009, 08:48 AM
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Baloo is a lucky boy. The fact that your parents are around to be with him and spoil him is so much more than most people have. He'll get used to the new schedule and before long you won't have to worry about it at all. Enjoy the change in your life that will bring more family time.

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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 05-27-2009, 09:26 AM
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Don't worry Angie. Baloo will adjust to the new schedule. He's a very lucky boy to have your parents around during the day. My girls get excited when we each get home from work but they calm down quickly.
I try to make my comings and goings very low key. I do give them a "mom's going to work" treat before I leave each morning. They each take their treat to their own spot and pay no attention to my leaving the house. They know that DH and I will come home later in the day.


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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 05-27-2009, 10:38 AM
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Angie, I know just how you feel. When I first got my Havs, I was only working part time and spent so much time with them. Then the business fell apart and I am back to working a full time job and feel so guilty about leaving them home all day. They are not alone - my Mom is there and my DD's two dogs now, but it's not me being there.

Kodi & Shelby's Mom and Julian's Grandma
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 05-27-2009, 10:45 AM
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I know how you feel too Angie. Whenever I have to leave and put the dogs in their crates I feel so bad! I catch myself watching the time so I'm not gone too long. Does everyone feel guilty when they leave the dogs alone???

**As I type this Murphy is in his crate, door is open, and he's sound asleep! LOL

Ann-Scooter, Murphy, & Gracie's Mom
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 05-27-2009, 10:50 AM
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We have had some changes too and Angie----don't feel bad. Things change and they adapt very well. The biggest thing is not to have that "I'm so sorry" feelings when you come home etc. because they are smart enough to take advantage and it leads to behavior problems. (guilty speaking here)

Vincent-Quincy's playmate

"Behind every unstable dog is a lesson for the owner"-Cesar Millan
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 05-27-2009, 11:11 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks everyone...and good advice. I have to try to not make it too big a deal when I come home and make sure I still do the same routine, supper, dishes, playtime etc as before we don't need any behaviour problems that is for sure, then I will feel even worse.

Dh was really stressing and wanted me to find a doggy daycare for him to go every day but I think being in his own house, with my parents is better and less tiring for me having to drive miles away to take him each day. I think we made the right choice.

Now if I had 2 hav's then he could have a playmate like you guys....hmmmm just another reason to go ahead with my MHS

~ Angie ~
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 05-27-2009, 02:46 PM
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Angie, I agree that Baloo is better off at home, even though you and hubby aren't there with him. He isn't all alone seeing as your folks are there to care for him, so dont' feel guilty, hon. It's o.k. A daycare as well as the change in home routine could make things worse. Do one change at a time if you can.

You really don't want to make an issue of leaving or of arriving. It's just another thing you are doing, like brushing your teeth. No nonsense and no emotions ass'd with it and Baloo will pick up on that and be just fine.

Of course a second Hav isn't a bad idea either........ LOL

Hello. My name is marj and I have MHS.

"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." Mahatma Gandhi

“Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew.” -Guillaume Apollinaire"
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 05-27-2009, 05:57 PM
... is now Havatwo
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Thank you for posting this, Angie, just so I know I'm not alone with my guilt and depression about having to leave my puppies alone now. We just recently moved from Oklahoma to Texas. I had been working from home for the last 2 1/2 years, but will be working outside the home starting June 8. The pups will be home alone for about 9 hours every day throughout the week then, and I have been making myself sick thinking about it. Logically, I know they are well loved and won't die from loneliness while I'm gone. But, it still makes me sad thinking of them here alone.

Michelle, Havanna & Olivia
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 05-27-2009, 06:46 PM
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They are soo adaptable. He's fine.
PLEASE post pictures of his groom.
I am nuts over the black and tans and his coloring is beautiful !!!!

Beth, Pixie Puff and MiG too
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