Momma's Boy - Havanese Forum : Havanese Forums
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-29-2009, 10:39 AM Thread Starter
mom23boys's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 57
Submit Photo: 0
Photo Submissions 0 Times in 0 Posts
Momma's Boy

So- we have had Zeplin for a year and 2 months now. He is about 18 months old. He is doing great!

My only concern... he seems to be overly attached to me. He follows me anywhere I go- even if he is sleeping and I move out of the room- he will wake and follow me. At night he sleeps at the end of my bed and if I wake to use the bathroom, he accompanies me. I go upstairs, he goes upstairs. I work on the computer- he stays under my chair or on the couch in the room. When I open the door for him to go and play in the backyard- he only likes to go out if I go out with him.

He is okay with my husband and will follow him next- but does not make any effort to follow or play with the kids unless he is in the mood. My boys are 10, 7 and 5. The older two are very gentle and not scary at all. My youngest is playful and loving- but not threatening either. I am always around when they try to initiate play. They will even toss a ball and he will get it and bring it back to me instead of them.

He does allow me to go out, but he will sit and wait by the window for door for me to go come home. When we come back in the house, he will greet me first with kisses and cuddles, then run to my husband, then back to me- never to the kids to say hi.

He does not growl at them or nip them- he just prefers the grown ups- me specifically. Is this normal? I let the kids feed him and give him treats, but he still prefers me. My middle son is hurt that the dog wants nothing to do with him and he is the most gentle and nurturing one of all.

Any advice?

Jennifer and Zeplin
mom23boys is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-29-2009, 12:22 PM
HavaneseSoon's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Eastern North Carolina
Posts: 5,409
Submit Photo: 73
Photo Submissions 24 Times in 22 Posts
What you are describing sounds just like Dexter, but we do not have any children in the house.

Dexter & Jack
"One Hav is NOT enough to enjoy the RLH skills!"
HavaneseSoon is offline  
post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-29-2009, 04:28 PM
Dave T
davetgabby's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 10,813
Submit Photo: 3
Photo Submissions 115 Times in 113 Posts
That's typical with most dogs Jennifer. Kids are too rammy. LOL

Dave and Molly
Ian Dunbar was awarded the Outstanding Achievement Award from I.P.D.T.A. Here's a picture of me accepting the award on his behalf.
Member of IAABC ,International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants , Member of Pet Professional Guild
davetgabby is offline  
post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-31-2009, 09:45 AM Thread Starter
mom23boys's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 57
Submit Photo: 0
Photo Submissions 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanks for the replies. I just wanted to make sure Zeplin did not have an over anxious issue, as I am returning to work on Wed and I know he is going to be so sad. Hubby is at home during the day though! He'll have to be a substitute!

Jennifer and Zeplin
mom23boys is offline  
post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-31-2009, 11:11 AM
Senior Member
marb42's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,814
Submit Photo: 1
Photo Submissions 2 Times in 2 Posts
Hi Jennifer,
I have the exact same issue with Marble. I've heard that Hav's can sometimes become more attached to one person, primarily the one who feeds, trains, and does most of the caretaking. From day one, Marble has followed me everywhere around the house, lays under my chair, outside the bathroom door, etc. It can develop into separation anxiety or future problems, so I would work hard to make sure this doesn't happen now. My kids, too, are very gentle and loving and were very hurt that he always chooses and follows me. If I left the house, he would whine and wait by the door, even if they tried to play with him. I can now leave the house for a couple of hours at most, but I do have to leave treats to distract him. It has been a long journey, so you may want to take steps now to make sure Zeplin bonds with everyone and doesn't panic when you leave.

I have had my kids try to feed him whenever they're here, take him outside, do little training sessions with treats and randomly give him small treats if he stays in their room. I will also leave him in their room with the door closed (only way to prevent him from following me) for small periods of time. My kids are older, though, (12 and 17) so that may not be an option for you yet. I think the more your kids are involved with Zeplin, the more he will be willing to spend time with them. It does take time, though, so tell your middle one to hang in there. Oh, and I read that your DH will be with him while you're at work starting Wed. This may really help balance Zeplin out early on, so he will get more used to your DH and kids. I know it will be hard to leave him, though. Good luck. I love the name Zeplin, by the way.

marb42 is offline  
post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-31-2009, 12:14 PM
Senior Member
Sandi Kerger's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 219
Submit Photo: 0
Photo Submissions 0 Times in 0 Posts
We don't have any children in the house,but Fipsy does exactly the same thing with me.
If I do out, she waits by the door for me to come home. We have a glass door in our house, and when I come back, there she is looking out the door, looking forlorn.

I find it is very hard to leave her, as I feel so guilty when I see her sad little face when I come back.

She follows me everywhere all the time.

She loves my husband too, but I think because he is not home all day, he is definitely second-best.

Sandi Kerger is offline  
post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-31-2009, 12:48 PM
Lola's Mom
Redorr's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 989
Submit Photo: 36
Photo Nominations 1 Time in 1 Post
For those of you who have this behavior, I have one point of warning: this could lead to potential separation anxiety. I live alone with Lola, and she is exactly the same. At about 1 1/2 years her velcro behavior began to manifest itself in barking and improper elimination whenever I leave her home alone. She does this in her crate, expen or free roam. I have been training against it for months. Got her to stop barking successfully, but the elimination continues. Now we are trying Clomicalm and training. And actually Lola is on a course of prednisone for an eye condition, and I think that has impacted her SA as for the past 2 days she has not panicked when I leave.

My trainer has me feed Lola in a separate area behind a gate so that she cannot be with me. So she eats her dinner and within 3 minutes of not being able to get to me, will eliminate right there. We are working on it. You may be able to nip it in the bud by forcing more separation now when they are puppies. It certainly wouldn't hurt either party.

---Little Lola a.k.a. Princess Pee and Poop and her humom Anne

"Happiness is a warm puppy" Charles Schultz

Redorr is offline  
post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-31-2009, 01:02 PM
Senior Member
Annie Clark's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 312
Submit Photo: 2
Photo Submissions 3 Times in 3 Posts
We don't have kids but Nala is the same! I always thought my husband was exagerating that she waited by the door. He took a photo and sent it to my phone. She was posted at the door-a place I have never seen her sit while I am home!

My husband says that she looks at him like, "How can you be happy? Don't you know the most important person in the world is not here right now".

She doesn't have any SA issues besides that. She will visit my husband on the couch but periodically goes back to her post by the door!


nala's mom
Annie Clark is offline  
post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 08-31-2009, 01:47 PM
Senior Member
RikiDaisyDixie's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,018
Submit Photo: 73
Photo Submissions 11 Times in 11 Posts
poor husband and child...

My dogs stay at the top of the stairs when I am not home. They greet my husband and daughter and go back to waiting at the steps. I had to get my daughter a hamster that I do not touch as she was sad the dogs were so attached to me.

She helps feed them, but they know who the alpha is!

I didn't just get havanese, I got a lifestyle!
Loving Havanese since 2003
RikiDaisyDixie is offline  

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Havanese Forum : Havanese Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome