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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-27-2008, 10:35 PM Thread Starter
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Why is my Havanese afraid of my boyfriend.
Winston is 41/2 months adorable and I have had hime since he was 11 weeks. He goes to Work with me (at a hair salon) and meets new people all day long (he seems to love being the "star attraction") Some are men and he likes them all except for a few. (inlcuding my man) I think my breeder was a good one though I wouldn't really know since this is only my second dog. My first was a golden retriever who was amazing and never met a person he didn't like; so this is totally new to me.
My boyfriend is trying (though not how I'd like) he goes back and forth from trying to giving up.
Is this a havanese thing? I was advised at a general dog forum site that it is, but my breeder assures me they tend to like most all people and be a rough and tumble breed.
I am hoping he will out grow this
Thank you for suggestions
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-27-2008, 10:58 PM
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My havanese is definitely more suspicious of some men. She warms up eventually as. As long as your boyfriend continues to be friendly toward Winston, they will eventually be buddies. My girl literally ran from my husband at first and now will sometimes choose his lap over mine. She also took a while to warm up to my dad, but last time they were in town, jumped into his lap to say hello when they arrived. We've had her just over a year, so give it some time.

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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-27-2008, 10:59 PM
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Hi Fictionqueen and welcome to the forum.

I have no idea why Winston is afraid of your boyfriend, but here's a couple of things you can do. How about having your boyfriend feed him, or take him out for a short walk around the block or go for a ride together. It seems they need a bit of alone time for one on one male bonding.

Can you post pictures of little Winston? We just love, love, love pictures. :bigrin1:

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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-28-2008, 05:30 AM
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Welcome to the forum!!
My Lily is more suspicious of men than woman, but we usually just tell them to ignore her, and she comes around fast!
I agree with julia though, your boyfriend should spend more alone time iwth Winston, Feed him, take him for a daily walk. Or have a special toy that only those two play with, and it it goes away when he isnt there. I hope that Winston comes around!!

(Julia, love Bugsy's avatar!!!)


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(Gigi, Lucas, Dugan, Madeline,Reo,Alvin, Lucky, Lukey, Punch, Colby & Ben-(we will always Love you!!)
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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-28-2008, 05:58 AM
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You could have your boyfriend sit on the floor with treats...have him ignore Winston unless he approaches your boyfriend. When he does, then BF can give a treat. Maybe he could also give treats whenever he comes in the door, too. Spending alone time is a must.....Doc finally warmed up to my DH when he was in charge while I was gone to work.

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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-28-2008, 06:16 AM
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I agree with the others, have him give Winston 'treats' and sit on the floor and play with him together. You be there to encourage him to feel comfortable.

Be very careful how YOU act, Havs are very intuitive, and if you start getting frustrated and upset that Winston isn't responding to your BF, then Winston MAY be picking up on that, and that is fueling his apprehension of him, he might think YOU are upset for some reason. They really do respond to how the main caretaker reacts. I've been 'annoyed' with a person before and Gucci sensed it, I'm CERTAIN, and started barking at the guy! lol, so be very mindful of how you are acting/thinking. Be upbeat, positive and happy around your BF. Do a happy dance when he walks in. lol, Let Winston know its a GOOD thing.

I do think Havs generally get along with most people, although..alot of them seem to bond to ONE person the most, the main caretaker(s). They follow your lead with other people, most of the time. There are a few people Gucci doesn't care for, but those are the same people I don't care for very much, ironically. lol

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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-28-2008, 07:37 AM
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Although my Molly is sometimes coyly trepidatious at meeting some new people, I tell them to just let her come to them, and to let her just sniff the back of their hand.

Molly backs away if someone strange comes at her from the front to pat her head...she scoots around behind me, and pokes her nose through my legs until the person stops.

Havanese are very loving, but they're also good at setting the pace (AND loving being the center of attention!). I'm thinking that if your boyfriend doesn't push it too hard, and same for you, that your little sweetie will be more curious about him, and will try to win him over. After all, a Hav blossoms when they are adored and when they know they have everyone's attention!

You'll get LOTS of good advice and info on this Forum... Welcome!

Maureen and Molly
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-28-2008, 08:57 AM
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I agree with all the above, just don’t know how much good it will do. Smarty loves most people away from home, but will always bark, stand off and protect me from anyone coming in the house whether she know them or not. This is the first dog I have had with what we refer to is “short term memory loss”. When my DD was here with her BF for Christmas every time he came from the other end of the house Smarty acted like this was the first time she had seem him. They were here for a week so her actions got to be nerve racking. She never warmed up to him. They are both psychologist and are sure Smarty is not so smart.

We spent 10 days in the motor home with my son and his family. She has seen my DS at least once a week since she was 9 weeks old, so you would think she would know him by now, but we go through the same thing every time he walks in our door. “STRANGER, STRANGER, STRANGER BEWARE. Again memory loss. LOL …..When Smarty sees him at agility class or at his home, her greeting is like the one she gives me when I get home.

Sandi, taking a new road with Smarty and Galen
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-28-2008, 09:13 AM
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I agree with everyone about more bonding time with your boyfriend. Also, while Havs are said to love all people and children, I think that is too general a statement. These dogs all have their own personalities. My Kodi is a little more timid and will approach someone cautiously. Shelby is more outgoing and will be in your face .

So, it just may take a little longer for Winston to bond with your boyfriend. It will take some work, but it will be worth it.

Kodi & Shelby's Mom and Julian's Grandma
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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 01-28-2008, 09:13 AM
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You know, though, at least as far as my Molly goes...sometimes she has a dead-on accurate instinct about some people.

There are one or two neighborhood people whom Molly and I seem to agree on...just a feeling, you know?
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