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post #1 of 103 (permalink) Old 12-10-2008, 08:59 AM Thread Starter
Tori's mom
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Tori Hates Him!

Tori is avoiding any contact she can w/the pup. If he's out of his expen, she's either on the chair/sofa/loveseat or trying to get out of the room he's in (to the other side of the baby gates) or into one of our arms. If I make her stay w/him, like in the office where's there's no "safe" place for her to be where he can't reach her, she's huddled, trying to hide under the desk/in a corner, etc. If he "keeps at her" to play she'll jump at him and growl. She has rolled and pinned him several times, but as soon as she walks away, up he pops and goes right back for her. He is pretty aggressive in his play and she really doesn't like it. He's much more dominant than what I thought he'd be. Whenever he's trying to engage her he will almost always try to get on her back, maybe to hump??? If I make her stay with him and don't allow her to get away, she starts drooling, circling and looking for "a way out". I think she hates him, and maybe even us for bringing him here

Night before last, we were eating dinner in the family room to be near him in his expen, he was crying loudly so, several times I told him firmly to be quiet or I'd just snap my finger or say "AK!". Well, about the 2nd or 3rd time I did this, DH pointed out that Tori was next to him trying to hide behind his back and she was trembling. She doesn't seem to realize it's not her who's being scolded. She's sooooo sensitive. Amanda suggested using names before commands, which I've started doing ("Puppy, no!", "Tori, come", etc.) So far, no change in her.

Last night DS, DDIL, and Rascal came by. At one point, the baby had Tori cornered and Rascal was just looking on. Well, when Tori couldn't take any more she let him have it; growling, snarling, lunging, rolling, etc. Poor Rascal didn't know what hit her.

So far, I've just been letting them try to work it out, but he's a headstrong little cuss, and doesn't seem to be getting, or at least not caring about, the messages Tori's giving. It's hard to see her like this w/him, especially since she's the one we got him for. Ever received a present you absolutely hated? I think that's how she must be feeling. Anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do to help Tori???


At our house, we spell happiness H-A-V-A-N-E-S-E

Last edited by Leslie; 12-11-2008 at 03:56 PM. Reason: spelling error
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post #2 of 103 (permalink) Old 12-10-2008, 09:13 AM
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Oh Dear Leslie. I have to admit I laughed when I read the title of this thread...Because Jasper hated Cash too at first..and I was about to send Cash back. But they will work it out. We tried making sure Jasper was always treated like number 1. Fed first, greeted first, walked first, played with/petted first. It sent a confidence signal to him and a sign to Cash where he stood in the pack. This didn't not last, as Jas (as Tori may be) is really pretty happy being an Omega dog (he stopped eating first and would wait til Cash ate) But it helped us get over the hump. They didn't start to actually play til Cash was 4.5-5 months. But I knew it would be ok when we had cable guys come to the house and Jas puffed himself up to twice the size to stand in front of Cash's x-pen and protect him and growl at the cable guys.

Give it time.

Missy, Jasper & Cash
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post #3 of 103 (permalink) Old 12-10-2008, 09:17 AM
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I understand how you're feeling Leslie!

But I think it's perfectly normal. Many people I've spoken to who've added a second Hav have gone through this stage. Carlito took awhile to warm up to Nico, too. He would stay up on the couches where Nico couldn't reach, and he would pin Nico all of the time for pestering him. But all of this passed, and though they wrestle daily, they really love each other now.

Hang in there girl!!!!!
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post #4 of 103 (permalink) Old 12-10-2008, 09:17 AM
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Leslie, I'm so sorry that Tori is having difficulty with the puppy. I don't have a lot of advice really. McKenna accepted Sedona with pleasure. We did do exactly what Missy mentions and that was to always greet, feed, pet, McKenna first. We were fortunate in that Sedona happily accepted the position of subordiinate. It sounds like you have two who may vie for the top dog honors.
Poor Tori, it must be heartbreaking to see her drooling and shaking. I'm sure they will work it out eventually though.


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post #5 of 103 (permalink) Old 12-10-2008, 09:17 AM
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That ungrateful, little Tori!

I don't have any advice, since I'm a one Hav owner/two Hav wanabe. You do have my sympathies, though. I wish I could sit down with Tori and explain to her that this is a good thing!

I'll be watching for the wonderful posts from forum members with all their good advice.


Max and Cooper
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post #6 of 103 (permalink) Old 12-10-2008, 09:19 AM
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This reminds me alot of my mom's shih tzsu Fanny. They had a male tzsu that died, so they bought Maddie (at 10 weeks) home. Fanny was absolutely livid over it. She wouldn't as much as look at Maddie-wanted nothing to do with her-HATED her and definitely resented my mom for bringing her home. The puppy was rough with her too and Fanny cowered away. Long story short, Maddie is 4 now and is definitely submissive to Fanny, but they get along just fine. I think maybe they need to work out the pecking order. I say give it time and they'll get it straightened out. Dogs are tough and maybe Tori's instincts need to kick in and tell puppy that she's the boss. It's like when you first send your kids off to school and they get picked on, then they know how to deal with it later.
Good luck!

Beth and Pixie Puff
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post #7 of 103 (permalink) Old 12-10-2008, 09:29 AM
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Leslie, I am so sorry to hear about Tori having difficulty with the new puppy. As Susan said, Benji welcomed Lizzie with great delight and their personalities match well. We too made sure that his space and his time with us was not encroached upon. The dynamics and hierarchy between them was determined by themselves within a few days.

I hope that Tori adjusts soon to the new puppy.

Best, Poornima
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post #8 of 103 (permalink) Old 12-10-2008, 09:33 AM
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Leslie, As long as the new puppy is REALLY cute, does it matter?? hehe
They will work it out on their own, I'm sure! They all eventually do, right??


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post #9 of 103 (permalink) Old 12-10-2008, 09:34 AM
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I can relate to your problem. When Bailey joined the troops nobody seemed too happy. If you recall, Cagney was head butting him, Milo was wondering who this intruder was and I began to wonder if I'd done the right thing. What I did in the beginning was keep Bailey in the ex pen in the kitchen with the other dogs able to go up to it and interact if they chose to but not be forced to. After a little time I put Milo in there with him for feeding time, then letting him out with the others for finite periods of time till they all adjusted. It didn't take long at all.

Give them both a little time and I'm willing to bet they'll be best buds.

BTW, Milo used to roll and pin Bailey all the time in the beginning. Though it scared me at first, no harm came from it and they adore each other now.

<b>Just Milo and me, and . . . </b>Bailey makes three . . . until Ruby said, "hey, what about me?"
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post #10 of 103 (permalink) Old 12-10-2008, 09:46 AM
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Don't worry Leslie = it will change. She just has to figure out who he is, what he is, is he staying? and most importantly - who will be the alpha.

She will slowly start interacting with him, and in a few weeks they will be inseperable!! I promise.

And if it doesn't work like that - I will fly out and take him off your hands for you

Lily, Lexi ,Logan, Laila & Lizzie's Mom
(Gigi, Lucas, Dugan, Madeline,Reo,Alvin, Lucky, Lukey, Punch, Colby & Ben-(we will always Love you!!)
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