I would if I had found one. So far, I am just keeping myself crazy busy, which is easy enough with the puppies, I guess. But poor Ducky… half the time I am calling HIM Kodi… and Dave has done it too…
Support For Grieving Loss of Havanese
It seems that a good number of people have said goodbye to their beloved Havanese in the first five months of this year. I almost feel like the board should have a topic area for grieving owners. I, for one, would like to hear about the strategies that other people are using to process their grief. It really is harder than one would have thought.
Feel free to post or message me, if you have found successful methods for coping with this loss.
Feel free to post or message me, if you have found successful methods for coping with this loss.
1 - 20 of 31 Posts
One thing that has helped us mourn our Lucy is talking about her, especially with our 4 year old. We desperately want him to remember her (we know there is no way our 1 year old will since she was only 7 months when Lucy died). When she passed we got both of them white dog stuffed animals, we told them that Lucy wanted them to have them before she died. Our son sleeps with it every night. It makes us happy that her memory is so integrated into his life.
We lost our beloved Chihuahua on 3/15/22. He was 12, just shy of 13. We were truly broken up with the loss of Cruiser. I put my grief into action as I knew our home was terribly empty without our Cruiser. Within two weeks, I was at a dog show, talking with owners, deciding with my husband if the Havanese was the right breed for us. I further put my grief into action by reaching out to various breeders for availability. And we then ended up with Ruffin, who we brought home to live with us a relatively short three months later. He cannot replace Cruiser, but he was/is a wonderful remedy for what ailed us—a dog.
When I had to let go of my beloved Romeo, I immediately started looking for another dog. It only took a couple days to realize how empty my life was without a dog. Especially hard for a single lady without children or any family within 1500 miles!
It was a week before Christmas and the saddest Christmas ever. I thought I had found my Havanese only to be scammed out of him by a breeder the day I thought I was picking him up. More heartache!
Finally Shadow came into my life early in February. I know this was all very soon but I did know that Romeo never wanted to see me unhappy and sad. It was the only answer for me was to get another life companion.
It was a week before Christmas and the saddest Christmas ever. I thought I had found my Havanese only to be scammed out of him by a breeder the day I thought I was picking him up. More heartache!
Finally Shadow came into my life early in February. I know this was all very soon but I did know that Romeo never wanted to see me unhappy and sad. It was the only answer for me was to get another life companion.
When one of my family members lost a beloved dog, she said she didn’t have a reason to get up in the morning any more. She meant that she no longer had the task of taking the dog out to go to the bathroom in the morning, but I could tell the pain was deeper than that. I helped with the task of finding a breeder and bringing a new puppy into her life. The transition to raising a new, different personality dog helped enormously with the loss. It was not a replacement but a new adventure.
I was just talking to one of my puppy people today… They lost a dog a while back, and their puppy from me is their “next dog”. And they know that I just lost Kodi. We talked about the fact that the other dogs don’t ever fill the hole the lost dog left. But they bring new joy into your life and soften the ache.We lost our beloved Chihuahua on 3/15/22. He was 12, just shy of 13. We were truly broken up with the loss of Cruiser. I put my grief into action as I knew our home was terribly empty without our Cruiser. Within two weeks, I was at a dog show, talking with owners, deciding with my husband if the Havanese was the right breed for us. I further put my grief into action by reaching out to various breeders for availability. And we then ended up with Ruffin, who we brought home to live with us a relatively short three months later. He cannot replace Cruiser, but he was/is a wonderful remedy for what ailed us—a dog.
In 45 years, the longest I’ve been without a dog is three weeks. I am not “me” without a dog. My wonderful little Miniature Poodle, Cali, passed away in March from hemangiosarcoma. It was very sudden and left me reeling. I‘m divorced and live alone. Although I have friends and family in town, Cali was my constant companion, day in and day out. All of a sudden, there was no one to talk to, no reason to get up in the morning, no one to welcome me home and no little being to love. I knew I needed a dog.
Immersing myself in researching breeds good for condos and then researching breeders kept my mind occupied. I decided on a Havanese and, as luck would have it, Ollie was looking for a home. Three weeks later, I picked him up. I felt really guilty getting another dog so soon, almost like it negated Cali’s memory.
The first two weeks after Ollie came home were rough. Not because he’s a puppy, but because he wasn’t Cali. The truth is, I almost resented him, but, as puppies are wont to do, he kept me crazy busy and wormed his way into my heart. I’ve had him for six weeks now and can’t imagine life without him. I’m excited to see the adult dog he grows up to be.
Cali, and all my previous dogs, will forever be in my heart. “Dogs come into our lives to teach us about love and loyalty. They depart to teach us about loss. A new dog never replaces an old dog, it merely expands the heart. “ - Erica Jong
Immersing myself in researching breeds good for condos and then researching breeders kept my mind occupied. I decided on a Havanese and, as luck would have it, Ollie was looking for a home. Three weeks later, I picked him up. I felt really guilty getting another dog so soon, almost like it negated Cali’s memory.
The first two weeks after Ollie came home were rough. Not because he’s a puppy, but because he wasn’t Cali. The truth is, I almost resented him, but, as puppies are wont to do, he kept me crazy busy and wormed his way into my heart. I’ve had him for six weeks now and can’t imagine life without him. I’m excited to see the adult dog he grows up to be.
Cali, and all my previous dogs, will forever be in my heart. “Dogs come into our lives to teach us about love and loyalty. They depart to teach us about loss. A new dog never replaces an old dog, it merely expands the heart. “ - Erica Jong
You have my deepest sympathy.
I think keeping so busy that you don't have time to think about how much you miss your dog might be a good strategy (until you're lying in bed trying to fall asleep, that is). I know our local animal shelter needs people to walk the dogs. It would be hard to not give an unfamiliar shelter dog 100% of your attention!
"If you're going through hell, keep going!" (Winston Churchill)
💚💛🧡💜💙
I think keeping so busy that you don't have time to think about how much you miss your dog might be a good strategy (until you're lying in bed trying to fall asleep, that is). I know our local animal shelter needs people to walk the dogs. It would be hard to not give an unfamiliar shelter dog 100% of your attention!
"If you're going through hell, keep going!" (Winston Churchill)
💚💛🧡💜💙
I lost my Oliver three days ago, and I don't really have a strategy other than crying. I sobbed for the six days I had from diagnosis to dying, and now I just let it flow whenever the tears well up. I kept some of his hair, and the vet will send the remains in a little box in another week or so. I'm going to set up a little place with pictures of him, because I want to honor his memory. I don't know what else to do right now. My apartment feels so empty, and I've been walking around the neighborhood like I used to do with him, just to get out of the house. Friends and family have reached out, and the community on this message board have been so kind, even though reading their posts turns on the waterworks. Going to the gym definitely helps, with some dopamine and endorphins, but I think I just have to let the sadness and depression wash over me. He was really important to me, and the intense heartache I feel is mostly because he was so sweet and innocent and devoted, and he didn't get to have any more treats or happy trips in the car to the dog park. I think that's well worth mourning, and I'm gonna let the process happen without feeling any shame for how much I loved him.
I think it is important that you take the time to mourn your sweet boy. It is a deep loss of a central part of our lives. Many of us on the forum have experienced the pain it causes.. I think that's well worth mourning, and I'm gonna let the process happen without feeling any shame for how much I loved him.
Crying is very cathartic. Even two months after Boo died, I find myself tearing up, when I speak to others about him. I will say it has been helpful to share my grief with other forum members.I lost my Oliver three days ago, and I don't really have a strategy other than crying. I sobbed for the six days I had from diagnosis to dying, and now I just let it flow whenever the tears well up. I kept some of his hair, and the vet will send the remains in a little box in another week or so. I'm going to set up a little place with pictures of him, because I want to honor his memory. I don't know what else to do right now. My apartment feels so empty, and I've been walking around the neighborhood like I used to do with him, just to get out of the house. Friends and family have reached out, and the community on this message board have been so kind, even though reading their posts turns on the waterworks. Going to the gym definitely helps, with some dopamine and endorphins, but I think I just have to let the sadness and depression wash over me. He was really important to me, and the intense heartache I feel is mostly because he was so sweet and innocent and devoted, and he didn't get to have any more treats or happy trips in the car to the dog park. I think that's well worth mourning, and I'm gonna let the process happen without feeling any shame for how much I loved him.
I agree that another animal can be a great comfort. I know that having Boo, when my toy poodle passed at age 17 in 2020, made things a little easier.When one of my family members lost a beloved dog, she said she didn’t have a reason to get up in the morning any more. She meant that she no longer had the task of taking the dog out to go to the bathroom in the morning, but I could tell the pain was deeper than that. I helped with the task of finding a breeder and bringing a new puppy into her life. The transition to raising a new, different personality dog helped enormously with the loss. It was not a replacement but a new adventure.
My sincere condolences on the loss of your Boo. 🧡Crying is very cathartic. Even two months after Boo died, I find myself tearing up, when I speak to others about him. I will say it has been helpful to share my grief with other forum members.
I agree, distracting yourself, is definitely a way to avoid thinking about your loss. Basically, that is what I find myself doing. However, every time I see something of Boo’s in the house I am reminded of Boo. I really need to pack up his stuff.You have my deepest sympathy.
I think keeping so busy that you don't have time to think about how much you miss your dog might be a good strategy (until you're lying in bed trying to fall asleep, that is). I know our local animal shelter needs people to walk the dogs. It would be hard to not give an unfamiliar shelter dog 100% of your attention!
"If you're going through hell, keep going!" (Winston Churchill)
💚💛🧡💜💙
Nights of course also are wonderful times to ruminate instead of sleep. This morning I got up at 5 am and put my ruminating to use by potting some impatiens in memory of Boo.
I don’t know what I would have done when I lost Kodi if I had’t had the others…I agree that another animal can be a great comfort. I know that having Boo, when my toy poodle passed at age 17 in 2020, made things a little easier.
I saw Panda sleeping in Kodi’s bed yesterday, and I almost made her get out of it. Then I realized how crazy that was and let her be…I agree, distracting yourself, is definitely a way to avoid thinking about your loss. Basically, that is what I find myself doing. However, every time I see something of Boo’s in the house I am reminded of Boo. I really need to pack up his stuff.
Nights of course also are wonderful times to ruminate instead of sleep. This morning I got up at 5 am and put my ruminating to use by potting some impatiens in memory of Boo.
View attachment 181006
Not so crazy. Cali had a red throw she loved to sleep on on the couch. It’s nothing special, just a washable throw. Ollie started to chew on it one day and I took it off the couch because I didn’t want him damaging “Cali’s blanket“. I did give him another throw to sleep on but “Cali’s blanket” still hasn’t made it back on the couch.I saw Panda sleeping in Kodi’s bed yesterday, and I almost made her get out of it. Then I realized how crazy that was and let her be…
PS, Hope it’s alright to post this picture here. Although she wasn’t a Havanese, I’m finding it cathartic to talk about Cali with people who, sadly, understand so well.
I've always found making art, any kind, as a sort of memoir, to be very cathartic. It can be painting, poetry, collage, crafts, textiles, writing, or anything. It doesn't need to be shared. Just a way to put your feelings into action, and for that action to result in some sort of totem of memory for the beloved lost one. Many of the dogs I've drawn/painted have been dogs I've known and mourned, some are those that another owner is mourning, and to me making a memory of them is the single most important thing I can do for them, myself, and their families.
Because your life becomes so intertwined with theirs, there are many things that remind you of them. That can be a hard rabbit hole to climb out of.
I will say that getting a new puppy (which turned into two puppies) has helped tremendously. They give you something to focus on as you create new memories with them. That, and they just keep you very busy.
As of Saturday will have three Havs! It never rains it pours, another breeder in Phoenix contacted us about a beautiful sable pup that became available when someone was unable to take the puppy. 3 is enough though!
I will say that getting a new puppy (which turned into two puppies) has helped tremendously. They give you something to focus on as you create new memories with them. That, and they just keep you very busy.
As of Saturday will have three Havs! It never rains it pours, another breeder in Phoenix contacted us about a beautiful sable pup that became available when someone was unable to take the puppy. 3 is enough though!
1 - 20 of 31 Posts
Havanese Forum
A forum community dedicated to Havanese owners and enthusiasts. Come join the discussion about breeding, health, behavior, housing, adopting, care, classifieds, and more!
Full Forum Listing
Explore Our Forums
Top Contributors this Month
View All
krandall
208 Replies
mudpuppymama
102 Replies
BoosDad
85 Replies
Recommended Communities
